Tees Maar Khan: Bad Joke, Hasoon?

As you might have guessed by now that the title of the post is borrowed of one of the dialogues of the movie. TMK is one of those movies where in you hardly have any expectations anyways. What you are looking for, is pure mindless 'entertainment'. Now the definition of this 'entertainment' as per our dear farah khan (and loads of other directors) is obviously Slapstick, Trying too hard to be funny actors, Spoofy Screenplay, Goofiness, People Slapping each other, plain simple craziness all over etc etc. And exactly thats what the movie offers. The two most enjoyable things about the movie were (Obviously) Sheila Ki Jawani and the End credits. There are a few jokes here are there which are funny but overall a pretty ordinary school-college spoof type movie. Can watch once if you can tolerate the irritating slapstick with absolutely no logic.




OK, First lay the expectations right. I obviously did not expect the movie to be in the same league as the 'intelligent comedies'. Yes, Ms Khan Comedies can be intelligently done as well and only people falling over each other, actors making strange faces and hamming, Jokes cheap borrowed from twitter oneliners or (even wors) roadside PJs do not constitute Comedy but obviously you don't believe in that and I already know that you don't. So the expectations were right where they should be. Go in the hall, Watch sheila ki jawani, enjoy some really sad/irritating/pathetic and sometimes funny jokes. Ignore the stupidities, hamming, slapstick, absence of story/script/direction. Forget about your life's problems for 2 hours and just laugh. If you find the stupid jokes funny then at the joke, If you don't, then at the director treating the audience as 5 year olds. In any case, just lay back and enjoy. And the movie fairs pretty decent if your expectations are right.



The Performances are just over the top and given the fact that the script is just about gags, the actors couldn't really do anything anyways. Upar se you have Katrina Kaif and Akshay kumar, both of whom hardly qualify as 'actors'. So even the remotest possibility of a 'performance comedy' is thrown out of the window as well. Infact, i feel if you had ANYBODY apart from these two. Their roles could actually have been delivered in a much funnier way. But i guess you can't really ignore the two box office magnets. Akshaye Khanna was the pick of the lot according to me and he portrays his role perfectly well. He is not given 1/4th the bhaav that Akshay Kumar gets but he still is miles ahead of him as per far as 'performance' is concerned. Ali Asgar doesn't disappoint either.



Enough has already been said about Sheila Ki Jawani and the number just takes off to another level in a cinema hall. I mean, i think 30% of my ticket price was already vasooled after the song. One Word: Woww . The title track is pretty decentish but all the other songs are absolute trash as if Vishal Shekhar were only asked to compose one item number and the rest were done by Farah Khan's Triplets.



Not to say, that the movie doesn't have its funny moments. There are actually a couple of scenes, which no matter how stupid they seem, are able to tickle the funny bone, especially when Akshay Khanna is on screen. Two or Three dialogues were actually quite witty too.



Overall: The usual 'Star studded slapstick Trashh' but with some actually funny sequences here and there. Watchable if your expectations are in the right place and you are gonna laugh either at the scene or the director. Watch it for Sheila and the End Credits



Feel-O-Meter: 5/10 (2 for Sheila included)



PS: Yes, Most might thing why i rate it higher than a Dabangg. The problem with Dabangg was that I just did not find ANYTHING funny in that movie. In this case, there are a couple of sequences, where you actually burst out laughing.

Phas Gaye Re Obama: Get Kidnapped

Phas Gaye Re Obama is one of the very few 'good' comedies this year. It makes a point loud and clear that you are not required to be goofy/slapstick/stupid to tickle the funny bone. You don't have to resort to crazy antics to be funny and people can laugh off the script as well. Witty dialogues, Believable Performances, Topical Story, Crisp Narrative makes it one of the funniest movies this year. Must Watch.




PGRO is set in the post recession world wherein an (almost) bankrupt NRI comes to India to sell off his ancestral Haveli to save his mortgaged house in the US. First he cannot get a buyer for it because of recession in India and then he is kidnapped by the local gang since they think he is still the millionaire he used to be. The story about how he is passed on to the bigger and then even bigger fish in the kidnapping 'business' and how he comes out of the situation every time with an 'idea' and also pays back his mortgage through the 'ransom' money he himself was supposed to pay. Brilliant story, Crisp Narrative and Amazingly Well Written dialogues make it the best written comedy this year.



On the performance front, Although everybody has delivered a good performance, Manu Rishi and Sanjai Mishra were the best of the lot. Somehow i wish that there could have been somebody else apart from Rajat Kapoor playing the US return businessman because of the cunningness associated with his 'ideas'. Its hardly believable that a person like Rajat Kapoor can come up with such 'witchy' plans. But its to do with his image rather than his performance. Neha Dhupia seemed a misfit and appeared as if she is there just to draw crowds by increasing the glam quotient.



On the negative side, the movie becomes repetitive when the cycle of transfering the kidnappee from one gangster to the other is repeated. May be one of the transfers could have been avoided and Amol Gupte's unnecessary Piles problem seemed like a misfit and forced to create some moments which the movie was already full of. Could have avoided these two things. Cut the movie by 15 minutes in the middle and you have a cracker of a movie. Could have been in the same league as Khosla, Oye Lucky etc, but is pretty good even now nonetheless



Overall: A Must Watch for everybody looking for a topical and clean comidey. Satire at its best.



Feel-O-Meter: 8/10

Tron Legacy: Game On

Tron Legacy is one of those movies which start like an absolute cracker and then somehow get lost in the middle with some heavy duty 'filmy' stuff. Don't really bother about the storyline because the movie is more about the 'coolness factor' and special effects rather than why is this happening. Some of the action sequences are really neat though remind you of the star wars and the matrix at more occasions than one. The background score is killer and (yes i am saying it now) can be compared to hans zimmer's the dark knight. A Definite watch for adrenaline junkies and sci fi lovers especially if you are looking for 'cool' special effects and a killer background score leaving the story and logic aside.



Tron is about a computer games developer who gets sucked into an alternate reality world (created by him only) and never returns and how 'accidentally' his own son gets sucked into the virtual world, where he fights a battle to rescue his father and his (future) love interest (if a sequel comes out) from a 'program' (which looks like his father).



The movie is all about how cool the sci fi stories are. It takes its inspiration largely from Star Wars and the Matrix. Even the costumes look too similar to the epics. The Hero's father looks like obi van and the villain looks like darth vader. There are references of calling the virtual grid as the 'grid' (The matrix types) and then even the bad guys are nothing but 'programs' (Agent Smith types). But the movie definitely takes the concepts a couple of steps further by redefining 'cool'. The costumes, the cars, the bikes, the interiors are just killer and you go 'wow' at more than one occassion.



The word 'awesome' falls short of describing the first fight sequence. Small sticks transform into bikes by clicking a button and every turn you go 'wow'. Sadly post this sequence the movie goes into a boring description of what happened, why it happened, how it happened etc etc. And you almost feel like going out and grabbing some popcorn. The movie just doesn't go anywhere from there. You keep expecting it to surprise you even till the end but it doesn't.



If you have to take one thing out of the cinema hall that is the background score by Daft Punk. With all those techno sounds in the fight sequences and heavy opera style score while approaching a fight scene, it reminds you of Hans Zimmer's The Dark Knight score at more than a couple of places. I think the movie would have fallen flat on its face, had the sound track not been as good as it was. Makes the movie, A Definite watch from a 'Watch it on TV'



Overall: The movie is pretty good when it comes to the action sequences, the 'cool' factor and the background score and scores really bad on the story/script/direction front. A Definite watch if you are an adrenaline/sci fi junkie. Avoid if you are not.



Feel-O-Meter: 6.5/10

Band, Baaja, Baraat: Not Aiwayein Aiwayein

BBB is one of those movies which provide you with a fresh feel of debutant director movies. Its a regular rom-com with the only difference being in the setting of the plot. To be honest i only watched this movie only because of the aiwayein aiwayein song and was not totally disappointed with the movie as well. Everything seemed okay and neither the movie brings the house down and nor does it totally irritates. Its one of the movies where you just can't seem to make up your mind. For the regular north campus grad, a Definite watch. If you are not a Delhite watch it to get the flavour. If you are a delhite, don't expect a lucky oye or khosla. Watchable.




Well, I never like movies like BBB since they fall into the usual 'not bad' category. I mean neither can you fall in love with the movie or the characters nor can you absolutely hate it. This is the kind of cinema which just comes and goes away and in six months you probably won't even remember the movie. The worst part is, there is typically nothing to mention about the movie while writing about it.



Movie revolves around two DU grads, where Anushka wants to start her own 'wedding planning' business and Ranveer just doesn't want to go back to his native village. They start the business together. Fall in love. Have a fight. Break Partnership. Come back together. Realize and Stay together. Typical Rom-Com? Kinda yes. But the overall 'Dilli' setting makes up for the lack of originality/new-ness.



The movie does have that typical 'debutant director feel' where you can feel that the guy is actually giving his heart and soul to make the movie. Especially the first fifteen of 'Dilli Darshan' was just so 'dilli-ish'. Especially the college sequences in 'Tarkeebein' was absolutely typical north campus. Maybe i have this DU/North Campus bias and its just the nostalgia speaking but to be honest, the first half an hour for me was the most enjoyable. But i think to keep the movie fast paced, he wraps up the 'fun part' way too quickly. And then the regular rom com ingredients of milna-bichadna-phir se milna takes over and spoils the fun. I would have prefered some more 'ladai-jhagda' between the lead pair.



As far as the performances go, I think Ranveer is going to be a stunner in the films to come. Although he couldn't do justice to the role of the Regular DU Jaat (but i am sure most who aren't from DU won't even realize it) you could still feel the potential. A better suited role (may be an action hero) and you will see what i mean. As far as this movie is concerned, he looked like 'Gareebon ka Vivek Oberoi'. I still don't know if i like Anushka sharma or hate. Coz be it Rab ne.., badmaash company or this movie. I mean she just doesn't do anything for me. she doesn't feel like a bad actor but she just doesn't evoke any emotions through her performance. Same is the case with this movie. I think the role was so well written, anybody else could have just ripped the screen but she just again manages the average performance types.



Must mention that Aiwayein Aiwayein is an absolute kick ass track and aadha paisa vasool is done by the song itself. Tarkeebein is a bonus and these two songs along with the addictive BBB signature tune makes up for the rest of the 'can be ignored' songs. Totally worth it.



I think the second half could have been much shorter and the movie had almost starting to bore me. The whole freshness was almost washed away in the second half. The anger, the fights just seemed too frivolous and forced. I think the problem was with the actors. Had there been anybody else apart from the lead pair, it could have become an above average, but in this case, just the regular average easily forgotten movie for me.



Overall: Neither too bad to skip, not too good to cancel all the plans and go for it. Go if you are free and especially if you have studied at north campus. The first half hour will provide you oa full paisa vasool. May even come back after first half and go have some chinese at momo's point



Feel-O-Meter: 5/10



PS: (In a remote possibility) if you read my reviews, you must be aware that i typically don't give these average 5 type ratings but i still can't decide if i liked this movie or hated it. So have to stick with a 5 :(

Guzaarish: Don't expect 'Black' Magic

Guzaarish is one of those movies, which rests on the very idea of making people cry through suffering and it succeeds to a large extent as well. There are a couple of scenes which shake you down but those are not enough to hold your attention throughout. It was a great idea on paper and it had that bhansali touch of grand sets, dark cinematography, use of whites, greys and blacks all over the canvass (although Red is an addition this time around) 'Black' style, stars who can sell movies just by their names, some really good actors in cameos, but there is something lacking. May be it tries too hard to do a 'Black' but sadly doesn't match up in any sphere. The first half was pretty neat and grippy but suddenly the second half felt like a different movie altogether and the last 20 minutes were just so unbearable. Can Watch for some really 'scenes' which make you cry though don't expect some 'black' magic.



The plot as most would already be aware revolves around Euthanasia(Mercy Killing), wherein a quadriplegic ex-magician Ethan (Hrithik) files a petition in the courts to allow him to end his life. Either the story seemed confuse or i couldn't understand the plot because the script makes the characters jump from one end of a viewpoint to another with in sequences. Hrithik at first is a person who thinks life is a gift and actually has written books on the topic. He delivers lectures on positivity and runs a radio show on the same lines. And Suddenly in the second scene he decides to kill himself. Anyways, the story and the helplessness of the lead character is touching to say the least but sudden changes in ideologies don't add to the narrative's consistency.



Performance wise, Hrithik's acting is mind blowing in a couple of sequences and suddenly you go, 'Dude, he's the man' and suddenly in the next sequence he would start hamming so bad that KRK seems like an Oscar winner. Though i feel that given this year's other films, Hrithik could easily take home a couple of best actor awards. Aishwarya according to me was a perfect mis-cast since she just looked too plasticky and emotionless (i am not sure, if it was deliberate from her end or she just ended up being like that). You just couldn't feel her love for Ethan throughout the movie. The winner according to me was Aditya (Yeah, ex-channel v vj aditya) who seemed so comfortable with the character he was playing. His performance was just too smooth to ignore. Others do justice in their cameos so no problems there.



On the direction front, i think SLB is trying too hard to go the german, french, italian cinema way. It appears as if he made this movie not for the story or the script or the indian audience, but to show the 'world' that he is a technical genius. I think he overdoes a lot of things, from victorian era sets to strangely dressed actors, just for making it feel 'different' from regular bollywood stuff. Too much of everything is bad and this is a prime example of the same.



Music is HORRIBLE to say the least. It is just one of the worst scores i have heard in recent times and definitely a let down. I think SLB was too busy showcasing his genius that he forgot that movie making is a team effort in the end.



Although, i must mention that there are 3-4 sequences where you just cannot hold back your tears or can feel Ethan's agony in your own soul. Those scenes just rescue the movie from the trash it could have been. For me, especially the sequence where Ethan sings 'Its a wonderful world' after his mother's death just nails it completely. Show me sequences like those and i will watch the movie again only for those. Hrithik just takes the movie suddenly to a different level altogether and those are the high points of the movie.



Overall: A Brilliant Story lost in SLB Grandeur. A pretty grippy first half but seemed to lost its way completely in the second. Watchable for 3-4 damn neat sequences which make you 'almost' cry.



Feel-O-Meter: 5/10



PS: I felt so bad for monikangana dutta, She is such a big supermodel and here, she was given 1 dialogue, 1 kiss and (i think) at max 2 minutes of screen time. As if the director got so angry with her that he cut her whole part or something.

The Social Network: Accept the Friend Request

No points for guessing but The Social Network is easily one of (if not THE) best picture this year. It is exactly how cinema is supposed to be. No High flying cars, No over the top drama, No 3D or 'special' effects. Its the script, the dialogues, the characters, the direction, the acting and above all the pace. The movie is gripping and there are hardly any moments that let you wander your mind away. From the first scene onwards, although you might be/are are aware of the 'story' but its how it unfolds that makes it interesting. Everything about the movie was almost perfect. It stays with you after you walk out of the cinema hall just like alcohol. It slowly gets to your mind and stays there. The best part is, The Hangover stays. A Must watch, whether you are on facebook or not.



The Story (as all are aware) is about facebook founder, a 23 year old and world's youngest billionaire Mark Zuckerberg and how facebook became a worldwide phenomena. More than the story of facebook, the movie illustrates the relationships the founders share, the ruthlessness that comes with being an entrepreneur and the biggest irony that the person who united the world through one website making everyone connected with each others' friends, he himself didn't have any. He was a complete loner and remained till the end. THIS irony is something that i truly loved. How he got everyone connected but still remained disconnected. How he is lonely amongst 500 million friends.To me, THATs what the movie was about rather than a documentary.



The script is edge of the seat without the 'forced drama'. No hard hitting fights between friends, no emotional betrayal, no remorse, no crying. Exactly as the life. No exaggerations. That according to me made the movie it is. The subtleties make it a class act. Because of the same, you can relate to all the characters and identify with their motives and antics. You don't go 'aah.. thats not possible' anywhere. May be its largely because its NOT fiction but hey aren't we used to masala in non fiction as well? Also, i simply loved the ending, it just makes the irony of the loner with 500 million friends so glaring. Just superb. How the movie comes full circle. Brilliant. I will not be too surprised if there is an oscar nomination on the adapted screenplay bit.



The Dialogues were just crazy. I think this could be one of the few movies you could relate with the dialogues that will be repeated for some time to come and. Another thing to notice was the speed at which the dialogues were being delivered as if the actors were trying to meet the pace of the movie itself, which was another highlight of the movieThe movie just runs away without any hiccups and nowhere you had this 'ohh you can skip it' feel. It was among some of the most perfectly paced movies i have seen in recent times. Neither too long nor too short. Everyone performed their part amazingly well, but i somehow loved Justin Timberlake the actor the most out of the lot.



Overall: To be honest, I can't really think of any negatives as of now. May be if i watch it again. I might notice a few problems here and there.A Must Watch even if you are not aware of 'the facebook story'. The movie in itself is pretty engrossing. Just book the tickets and go.



Feel-O-Meter: 9/10



PS: May be i am too much of a facebook fan, but here i am only writing about the 'movie' and not the social phenomena that mark and his friends founded. BTW, i think Mark as a person is an absolute failure and a cunning bitch himself but just loved the entrepreneur in him.

Golmaal 3: Dear Mr Shetty, Please learn from your Comedy Circus Contestants

What's the bad thing about a joke? No matter how funny it is the first time, It ceases to be if you hear it again and again. The same is the case with the Golmaal franchise, I think the first movie was a laugh riot and an absolute cracker of a comedy. One of the best in the last 10 years according to me. But then, the second was a little lesser and the third one seems just like a reflection of the last two. Rohit Shetty is riding a tiger called the Golmaal Franchise. He didn't know what to do and was too afraid to let go of the same. So he decides, Hey why not cash in on the brand recall. Atleast people will watch it once and it will be a hit anyways. And Eureka ! Exactly thats what happened.



Let me clarify that i am a HUUUGE fan of mindless comedies. The kind of movies where you can forget logic/sense and just have some fun. But the most important thing to keep in mind is that a comedy is supposed to be funny. I am sorry, but dogs biting people's asses, rockets burning down fireworks' shops, or people on a chaat wala tawa screaming are not funny to me now. Especially given the fact the last two instalments were funny not only due to the antics but due to the script part too.



The punches are pretty neat and topical but the thing that lacks is a common threat that binds the movie together. The 'plot' is not there. Its as if the director says, 'Who Cares about the story anyways right?'. I agree, that it doesn't have to be a heart warming story but even a very basic thread that binds the overall progression of all of whats happening on the screen is a very important requirement and THAT wasn't present. At 2.5 hours, it was too long for a comedy without a plot to sustain.



The movie just seemed like different Comedy Circus contestants coming together and making a movie. Where its not a 'movie' but rather a collection of different 'acts'. And ya, Mind you, the contestants on the show are FAR FAR funnier than ANY of the actors/writers/director of this 'comedy'. I think the 'judge' needs to learn a lot more from the contestants there.



Have you noticed that a number of times these Stand up comics come together, make a movie and nobody watches that. THATs also mindless but has brilliant comedians (much better than our movie stars) and still the movie is a flop. The reason nobody wants to watch these contestants on the big screen no matter how good the plot/script could be. Its like a reverse process in this case. The actors are bad, the script/plot is not existent but still it works because its the 'Brand' that sells.



The two things good about the movie were 1. Addition of Kunal Khemu, who provides some freshness to the stale cast. and 2. Some REALLY funny and topical punchlines.



Overall: A Mindless non-comedy. Give it a Miss. A couple of funny scenes here and there but definitely not worth spending 2.5 hours (Even if the tickets are sponsored)



Feel-O-Meter: 4/10

Anjaana Anjaani: Perfect Rom-Com

Well, What do you expect when you are going to watch a Bollywood Rom Com? Cat Fights between the leading pair (who more often than not are exactly opposites) in the first half and then some lovey dovey chemistry in the latter, Some Cute moments, Some Stupid but funny sequences, Thoda sa Romaaance, Good music/songs, Decent Direction, Story, Script and a lot of 'those' moments which just make it neat. Right? And that's all is there in Anjaana Anjaani. Should watch (Preferably with your boyfriend/girlfriend/prospect).



Every Rom-Com has to have those 'moments' which make you smile and AA has its own share of these moments. The movie is (obviously) about two strangers meeting, both of them are trying to commit suicide and then try to 'live' before they die. Then comes the usual Rom Com stuff with full on Ladna Jhagadna, Pyaar ka Ehsaas hona, milna, bichadna,Thoda drama, Realization hona, Phir se milna, etc. Same old formula with the difference being that the leading pair is Simple Story. The only difference could be in the 'treatment' and there is. The movie has its own 'fresh' appeal despite you already knowing what would happen. Even though a couple of sequences seem slightly forced or predictable, you still enjoy the package overall.



One of the most important reasons of AA working is that i think the roles suited both the leading actors just perfect. Priyanka Chopra is her own bubbly self and you can't escape having a smile on your face when ever she does(or even overdoes) her smiley part. For Ranbir Kapoor, the actor, i already have tremendous respect among the future super stars of bollywood. Every role that he plays seems written for him. Be it his serious role in Rajneeti or loserish lover in Amar Prem ki Gazab Kahani or even the sardaar in Rocket Singh. In AA also he doesnt disappoint at all. He is as smooth as you can get. Full Marks to both of them there. Even if they are good on stand alone basis, i think they become better when it comes to their chemistry. They come across as friends on screen as well as off screen. Either they are, or they are just pretty good actors. Others anyways have no role to play so no need to mention anybody.



Music is plain simple Kick Ass. Almost EVERY song rocks. The range in the album is pretty broad too which could be explained by the variety of singers on the sound track. On one hand you have Rahat Fateh Ali Khan with his soulful sufi in Aas Paas Khuda and on the other you have Shekhar/Shilpa Rao with their jumpy title as well as I feel good tracks. You have mohit chauhan's melodious voice in tujhe Bhula Diya on one hand and on the other you have lucky ali in his rockish avatar with Hairat Hai. Though there are a couple of songs which seem ill fitted in the narrative, but Overall, i think the sound tracks adds to the overall feel of the movie and makes it a better from a good movie.



To be honest, there was hardly anything which i had a BIG problem with. Its one of those movies, where you just go to have some easy masala entertainment with good music, cute moments minus the cheap/overzealous comedy. And you will not be disappointed.



Overall : A Definite Watch.



Feel-O-Meter: 7.5/10

Khichdi: Over Cooked

I have always been a crazy die hard khichdi fan and as soon as i saw the promos on air, decided to watch it first day. And That's what i did. The promos were fabulous and all the jokes (in those 5-6 different promos) were crazily funny. The problem is, those were ALL the funny moments in the movie. If you have seen the promos, you have seen it all. The problem with the jokes is that if you have heard it earlier, it might be the craziest joke ever, but it just sound the same, its just not as funny as the first time. Exactly what happens here, the jokes are neat but since ALL of these were already shown in the ads, they just dont feel 'khichdi' enough. I just love the crazy nonsense on the TV series and have hardly missed an episode. But the movie is not even 10% of the series. May be because the story/script was funny only for half an hour but it got stretched to 2 hours. If you havent seen any of the promos and are a khichdi fan. MAY Go and watch if you have absolutely nothing to do and get free tickets and ride to a good cinema hall along with popcorn, drinks etc.



I think apart from the lack of (number of ) funny moments, another problem was that the movie was too dependent on prafull and hansa. But their chemistry, no matter how good it is, cannot compensate for (overall) bad writing. The stage was set from the initial draft of the story itself. I mean take the funniest gujju family in India, Add to it some sardaars and try to have a marriage between the two. But sadly, the execution did not live up to the story expectations. The script just did not have that punch. Mind you, i am not saying that the jokes were not funny, but at the end of the day you are watching a movie and not a re-run of a laughter challenge show. So those jokes have to be told 'through' the script. I expected a lot more idiocy, lot more goof, lot more over the top humor, lot more slapstick. But sadly, none of it came true. Infact, with in the first half an hour i got bored and started looking at my watch because the story was not going anywhere.



One the performance front Prafull and Hansa rock, but thats the problem. They are the only characters which are funny and they are not the center of the script. To be honest, i think the producer who also playing the lead role has something to do with it. May be he just wanted to put HIM in the limelight, so he made a movie keeping him as the central character. JD should realize that he is NOT funny and no matter how desperately he tries, he just CANNOT be. So he should have given more space to the characters who are. Had he kept Prafull and Hansa in the middle and made a story AROUND them, it would be much funnier. The Jayshree cast replacement also did not help either. The actor who plays the role in the movie is not even 10% of the original. The only funny thing i could find was to do with a perfect (mis)casting of a pretty hot damsel in the role of a perfect sardarni bimbo. To be honest, she looked too good to be dumb and definitely did not have any sardarni-sh demeanors about her. The Sardar cliches were too.. hmmmm... cliched..



Overall: A thumbs down if you are a khichdi fan. A big disappointment. Wish they come up with another one but with prafull and hansa in the center of the storyline. As far as this is concerned, Would advise to watch the re runs of the TV series on youtube instead or watch the trailer @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asS1nFf3CjY. That should be good enough :)



Overall : 2/10 (For the 4-5 ammmazingly funny jokes here and there)

Dabangg: Not 'Wanted'

Dabangg is one of the worst movies this year. Although you (obviously) expect nothing but a masala movie, it falls short even on that front. Its one of those movies, which just tries too hard to do a lot of things and is an absolute failure on (almost) all the fronts. Bad Script, Bad Direction, Bad Performances, none of the jokes were funny. The only saving grace was the music, EVERY song is either foot tapping or soothing. But you dont watch movies because of songs right? You buy/download the CD. Do that. But do not fall prey to this marketing gimmick. If this grosses more than 3 Idiots, it would be shameful for bollywood.

Let me clarify one thing to start with. I am NOT one of those intellectual cinema lovers who make faces when somebody mentions 'masala' movies. For that matter, I loved Salman Khan's last masala flick Wanted. But this is absolute trash. Funny Sequences are not funny, Romantic sequences are not romantic, Action is not pathbreaking, You almost laugh at emotional Scenes, Story goes here and there (almost everywhere) but just doesnt make sense at all. There is just no idea as to what and why are we watching this. May be the brief was, 'Okay, Lets make a movie with say 5 Crs(Salman cost Zero, New Director cost Zero, New Actress cost Zero, Arbaaz Cost zero, Malaika Item song cost Zero) and spend 20 Crs on marketing, Show Salman on Every channel (Indian or Pakistani), Add the Katrina Break up bit, Generate some publicity, Fool people into watching it one time and gross about 50 Crs in the opening weekend and Laugh at a whole nation coming out of the cinemas looking/feeling like Idiots'. Well, the plan was a success!!

Salman returns with his 'Hello Brother' BS minus the pungiiii. He tries so hard at being funny, but he just isn't. More because there is nothing in the script that can be called funny in the 200 mile radius of the word 'funny'. (PS: Funny, the way i used the word funny so many times in the last sentence :P ). Arbaaz is a stupid actor and his stupidity is proved that he actually looks smart in a character that is supposed to be stupid !! Om Puri is wasted not being given any scope to perform. Sonu Sood (as expected) does nothing apart from showing off his Steroid-swollen Body. The only saving grace on the performance front was Sonakshi Sinha. I think she was too good for this movie. I would really want to see her in a meaty and more sensible role in the future. If she gets some good performance oriented roles, i think she can beat the hell out of the current Katrinas of the world.

As already mentioned, The music is just fabulous. Every song strikes the chord its supposed to strike. Munni is an absolute sadakchaap club number for the drunken men in shaadis. Tere mast mast do nain is soothing and just touches your heart in Rahat Fateh Ali Khan's vocals. All the other songs are pretty smooth too. There isn't anything else that is worth mentioning to be honest. Nothing on the technical side also came out and said 'Oh thats new' to me.

Overall, Garbage in the name of 'Masala'. Do not watch unless you are offered a ticket free of cost and you are going with your college friends (read: NOT girlfriend). Watch it in a tier 2 city in a single screen theater instead. I am sure the atmosphere in the cinema hall will entertain you more than the movie itself

Feel-O-Meter: 2/10

Peepli [live]: Do visit

Take Jaane bhi do yaaron, Hero Hiralal, Phir bhi dil hai hindustani and make the setting rural. Take some of the fine 'actors' (not stars) and give them characters (not roles). Take compelling Social issues and put a dose of humour. You get Peepli [live]. The movie humor but its own tongue in cheek style. For me, the best part was the performances , fantastic dialogues and absolutely precise casting. Music by Indian Ocean rocks. Direction is tight. It has everything but lacks that 'something' which shakes your soul when you have such a serious issue at a film's base. But still is one of the better movies this year. Do not miss.

The movie is about two brothers-one of which convinces the other to commit suicide so that they can get some money from the government, TRP hungry media, Don't care a damn Bureaucrats, Will do anything to stay or come in power Politicians. Apart from the main farmer suicide issue, the movie dealt more with the migration of workers to cities than villages because there is no option left for them, in a very subtle way.

The Best part about the movie was perfect casting. Everybody (and i mean everybody) scores. Be it the confused Natha, The Schemey Budhia, The venomous Mother, The irritated Bahu, The Politicians (local and national), The Reporters. Everyone suits one's role as if he/she was cast first and then the role was written after keeping him/her in mind. While watching you hardly seem to notice actors, but characters. I bet if you open your eyes and roll down car's windows tomorrow, you will watch all these characters on the street. And that obviously lead to one of the finest (collective) performances i have seen in a while.

The dialogues were pointed, satirical, entertaining and pinching at the same time. I have seen and heard budhia and Nathas in my locality as the press wallahs, the doodh wallahs, the maids in my childhood and you can take my word for it, that the words were absolutely the same. They are not the dialogues written by an urban 'scriptwriter' to be spoken by 'actors' but you can feel that earthy feel with every word uttered. Music again is typical Indian Ocean and (obviously) has that folk-y feel. The cinematography is neat (I really liked the scenes where actual media-cameras were used in the media-crowd scenes).

No doubt its an honest movie made from the heart, but it loses its steam in the middle when things start to get repetitive especially when the media spoofs become too spoofy. They are entertaining, no doubt, but I think the point was already made and it seems that it was stretched too far and wasn't required. Another thing that i felt could have been done was to actually stop the 'fun/humour' element at some point and the movie could have been given a 'darker' feel in the second half. With the subject like this, I think it would have been amazing if the movie could just spin over its head and suddenly turn negative and brutal.

According to me, Alls well that ends well applies most to movies. Most people take the last few sequences out of the cinema hall. Thats what they remember. It (any movie) could be a fantastic movie , but if the ending sucks. You suddenly ignore the better parts (just an example, not that it applies in this case) and come home only with the worse ones.

I would have really liked a 'Play-like' Ending, when the lead actor is lonely and sitting in the corner with a spotlight on, and it fades slowly. But in order to reach that build up, more brutality was required. You should feel for Natha, even cry for his state. He has the whole family back home. Wife, Mother, Brother, Kids but Here he is in the city, absolutely lonely. No one to talk to. He cant even go back. He cant even talk to them and still you don't feel as sad for him as you should have. Make the second half absolutely darker i say. For eg, what Dibarkar Banerjee did in LSD (the Love Story Chapter) when you have this spoofy feel throughout and suddenly the pair is killed brutally. THAT kind of a treatment towards the end could have taken the movie at a different level altogether. It could have made the audience 'feel' more for Natha.

Overall, one of the better movies this year. A Definite Watch

Feel-O-Meter: 7/10

PS: I think there were a lot of hidden messages in the script which i missed. Would definitely want to watch it again to understand it even better. For eg. Why was Natha riding a wedding horse while asleep? or What does the handpump signify? Do tell me if you have any idea.

The Expendables: Dispensable

The Expendables is a perfect example of how you can take up the biggest action stars like Stallone, Statham, Jet Li, Mickey Rourke, (cameos by) Arnie and Bruce Willis and two (almost) hotties and still make like the worst movie possible. Its exactly what its meant to be. The 80s action movie. The problem is we aren't in the 80s anymore, where idea of an action movie was blood splattered all across, gory throat slits, 1:236 Hero:Men Killed ratio, Mindless Explosions etc etc. Offers absolutely nothing except.... okay.. nothing. Even the A-Team was better.

Dear Sly, We have loved you so much in Rocky and Rambo series, butthat doesn't mean that we can love you over 60 doing actionsequenceslike a 20 something and romancing a 28 year old hottie, justbecauseyou are the producer (and the director). I mean for God's sake,she looks (and is more than) half your age. It was just gross to eventhink of, to be honest. Please Act your age.

The main plot is like any other TOLLYWOOD movie, that puts even Rajnikant to shame. Guys go on amission. One Guy falls in love with a girl there, who is left behind.The guy goes back with his other friends to rescue her. Villains,Villains' Chamchas, Hamming, Fire, People falling here and there,Blood, Blasts, Throats Slits, Hand Slits etc etc and the girl isrescued. The only difference being that the girl is (probably) lessthan the hero's daughters age. Its like Dharmendra teaming up withAmitabh Bachhan, Sunil Dutt, Shashi Kapoor, Shammi Kapoor, Pran etc torescue the love of his life (hmmm say Priyanka Chopra) from evil Ajitand (my favorite) Ranjeet. Even Priyanks is running full speed whenAjit is trying to take her away from Dharmendra.No wonder to be honest. If there is a choice between Stallone and the villain, any girl would choose the latter.

Most probably you would expect a mindless action movie, but the problem is that the action is also very 80s. There is nothing that impresses apart from a shot gun that blows (yes literally.. blows) you in half. The special effects are so bad, as if it was a animation project of an Arena Multimedia 2 month summer course's student. There is cacophony all over and you dont even seem to realize who is killing whom or who is blowing whose face/ body/helicopter/plane/drums/palace etc etc. Even the fights are so WWE kinds that they turn you off completely. I mean its full of those fake WWE locks and clotheslines and pearl drivers. I mean its ok that you have Steve Austin as a side villain but that doesn't mean you will choreograph the fights also like WWE.

Overall, the plot is pathetic, the action sequences are badly executed, funny lines are (except one or two) not funny, No chemistry between the lead pair or even the gang. There is absolutely nothing in the movie you might enjoy to be honest. Even Gisele Tittie ooooops... i mean Itie also stops being interesting after 10 minutes of screen time. Do not watch, even if you are paid to.

Feel-O-Meter :2/10

Star Wars: THE original epic

What makes Star Wars tick? There are so many movies and movie series, then what is in the george lucas' epic saga of the galaxy far far away that makes it different from all others and makes it what the others aren't. Afterall, there are series which have (arguably) made more money, have had better technology/special effects, had better story, had better characterization, had better performances, better heroes, better villains. If you are a performance oriented movies lover then Godfather scores. If you are the techie then LOTR and the Matrix. If you are the adventure kinds then the bonds and the bournes are there. If you are the fighter then the rambos and rockys are always there. Then What makes Star Wars so special?

Well, my take is that simply because it had All of the above and much more. The foremost thiing that i can think of is the story. Every movie (in its basic form) has this Good vs Evil story to begin with and then it moves further. Star Wars was no different. But to me, the humanness of the story is the biggest reason. More than anything else. The viewer just immerses in the story as if he is actually a part of the same. When in Empire Strikes back, Darth tells Luke, I am your father. You suddenly forget its a story and your heart just goes Ohhhh.. Now what!!! What would happen now. What would Luke do. Even in Return of the Jedi, when Luke confronts Darth Vader in the end, although you know that in the end Darth would turn good in the end, you still have your heart in your mouth, when those lightsabers collide. It is THEN, the movie stops being a technological show and you feel that a story is being told and the galaxy, the warships, the special effects or anything else is just ancillary to the basic plot of good vs evil and the human relationships in between.

The way Star Wars (although being a techie/special effects movie as far as the setting is concerned) deals with human relationships at the very basic level is portrayed in the most beautiful way possible. The Conflict between Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker as father-son is just the best portrayal that you could imagine. The father who once was a good man but now iis the warlord who is trying to kill the son and his friends (etc etc), but the son still feels that he has some good left in him.

On the relationships front only, there are these different friendships which bind the whole cast together. Starting from the phantom menace(i will go in the chronolical order of the story and not the release), we see that between obi wan and qui gon. Qui Gon and (young) Skywalker also have a similar friendship/chemistry despite their age gap. Even if you move further the friendship remains the essence of the series. Then between grown up Anakin and Obi Wan in the attack of the clones and Revenge of the Sith. Although Qui-Gon & Obi wan as well as Anakin and Obi Wan have this master disciple relationship, their friendship is still the more basic feeling that they feel for each other. Or for that matter, take Han Solo and Luke Skywalker, Han and Chewbaca or even (rather especially) R2D2 and C3PO. Despite them being robots, you can still feel that trust, care and friendship between the two. As if they are infact more human than the rest of the cast.

On the technology front also, i hear that LOTR was better or Matrix etc. But one thing we fail to realize is that when the first star wars was released. The wachowsky brotherw were yet to enter their teens. There was no internet. There were no movies(that i can remember) which had any special effects to talk about. First, the conceiving a story which was based on something hardly ever heard of and then thinking of ways to portray that onto the big screen was something. That too when most of us(who think that we have the authority to write anything on cinema :P ) were not even born. That was a feat in itself.

I dont quite know how much more i can go on and on and on, on each aspect of the movie. Infact i could just go on writing a note on each of the characters. On (arguably) the greatest movie villain of all times. On the adventure. On the Excitement. On the Chemistry. And a thousand other things. May be i am just an awestruck fan who thinks that the movie deals what cinema is supposed to do. Take you out of your daily miseries and tell you a story. A Story that will bind you down. A Story that stays with you even after you walk out of the cinema. A Story you would like to hear again and again no matter how many times you have heard it already. A Story that will take you to a wonderland where you have never been earlier. A story that lets you experience something you have never experienced earlier. Thats what Star Wars was. A Story that did all that. More than 3 Decades ago, still has the same effect even now and hopefully, will have the same effect on the generations to come. May the Force be with you. :)

Aisha: Sucks :P

Aisha is Jane Austen's Emma Adaptation, which has almost nothing to offer except two (may be three) good songs, three or four funny dialogues at the interval of around 30 minutes each, pretty good performance by the debutant amrita puri. Thats it. Its a perfect example of how badly you can screw up with an amazing subject because the film is produced by the lead actor's father. Make it 20 mins shorter. Throw out Sonam Kapoor and still can be watchable. I hope somebody else makes it coz i really liked the story. Don't watch.

The biggest problem with the movie was sonam kapoor. I mean for god's sake. SHE CAN'T ACT. Just because your father is an actor does not mean you have the ability to carry off a movie on your (almost anorexic) shoulders. The funnily squeaky voice doesn't help either. Its irritating to say the least. Every time she is on screen, I was like damn man, isn't there a fast forward option here. The worst part is that SHE is all what the movie has. Every single scene, frame, she is there. There is no scene that i can remember where she wasnt present and that screwed the matters even worse.

I understand that the movie is called 'Aisha' and she is supposed to be there but i wonder if Anil Kapoor hadn't produced it, same would have been the case. It looks like another 'Karate Kid-2010' where will smith made the movie just as a birthday (or whatever) present to his son. Anil has done the same may be. Sonam: "booo hoo hoooo, Daddy i am not getting any movies". Daddy: "'Ohhhhh, my poor baby, you want a gift. Okay let me produce a movie for you. You will play the lead. No one else will have anything else to do. And out of your 469 scenes may be somebody might notice ONE scene and you get another movie" types. Gimme a break..

To be honest, I think rest all were fine. Amrita puri has delivered a cracker of a performance. She is sweet, cute, stupid, bubbly and much more. She is the thing to watch out for. Ira Dubey din't have much to do and she doesn't hurt the eye. Abhay Deol has not been given any space to perform. He comes, says a dialogue or too. Goes away. Comes back again and has been given the most stupid lines. Lisa Haydon and Arunoday Singh do what they are supposed to. They look hotttt. Period. Cyrus Sahukar is funny here and there. Anand Tiwari is decent and thats it. Its Amrita puri all the way as far as performance is concerned.

The story (although borrowed) is pretty cool and deserved a much better female lead to carry it off. I wonder if a Preity Zinta could have done what Sonam couldn't. Athough there are 4 lead pairs and A loves B, B loves C, C loves A, D loves B, E loves A, F loves E and blah blah blah. You stilll realize (in the first 30 mins only) that who would land up with whom. The loser lands up with the loser. The hottie with the Hottie. The middle class with middle class. Childhood friend with Child hood friend. and in such a scenario only the situations and timing could have saved the cause. Sadly, it doesn't.

There were two or three very funny dialogues but almost come at an interval of 30 minutes each and till that time you are bored as hell. Some of the lines specially towards the end are amazingly stupid and not funny. You are like, WTF man...Who says that.. types..

Rajshree Ojha tries her best to save the movie from Sonam Kapoor and dheeli script and i am sure given a better actor and script, she would deliver a much better movie. Amit Trivedi has done his magic again in the title track, gall mithi mithi bol and Shaam. Background score is pretty so so. Nothing Dev D like.

Overall : A Pretty promising subject screwed due to a bad script and pathetic performance by the lead actor. Remove Sonam and make a tighter script and remove all the loser-ish dialogues in the second half and could be watchable then. Give it a miss otherwise.

Feel-O-Meter : 3/10

PS: I think the title role should have been given to Amrita Puri and she could have taken the movie to a different level altogether. and yeah, iif you like sonam kapoor (which is unlikely) and can tolerate her funny voice, you can watch it once i guess. :)

PPS: Even in the image, Abhay's Expression is like 'Like seriously??? and you call yourself an Actor??? :P

PPPS: The title of the note is borrowed from a friend's status msg :)

Once Upon a time in Mumbai: Salim Javed ruled bollywood

The movie more than being set in the 70s, is actually made like a 70s movie. Every frame reminds you of Manmohan Desai, Prakash Mehra, Yash Chopra, Ramesh Sippy, Salim Javed, Amitabh Bachan, Deewar, Don, Shaan, Trishul, Sholay, Zanjeer, even Agneepath (though late 80s). It reminds so much of those dialogue heavy film making when the movies were not about the story but the dialogues. Most 70s movies you can relate to, will have atleast one dialogue you will remember. From 'Mere paas Maa hai' to 'Main aaj bhi faike huye paise nahi uthata'. From 'Tera kya hoga kaliya' to 'Vijay Dinanath Chauhan'. Once upon is exactly in the same league. It does not overdo it like Farah Khan to show that she loves the bollywood of that era. Rather it takes the same setting and makes the movie exactly as per the narrative. Stunning performances, Kick Ass dialogues, Decent Music, Controlled direction. (Almost) everything was good. A Definite watch if you haven't already.

I'll be honest, i didn't actually want to see this movie. The strongest reason being presence of Kangana Ranaut and Emraan Hashmi. If i could, i would throw these out of bollywood right now and forbid everyone to do any movie with them. I think they are among some of the worst actors we have here. But still, i was too intrigued by the Haji Mastaan parallels and wanted to see it. So reluctantly decided to watch it and promised to ignore the two (non)actors i just mentioned. And am i glad i did that or what?

The movie is set in the 70s (as already established earlier) and is pretty close to the underworld Don Haji Mastaan and to be (at that time) Don Dawood Ibrahim. Former makes the latter other only to be betrayed later. Its typical 70s cinema when the protagonist rises from the streets and is seen as a 'maseeha' in its locality. Too much information on the plot is neither relevant nor makes any difference.

The surprise package for me was Randeep hooda (who ironically is mentioned as a special appearance in the credits). To me, he was the pick of the lot. Yes, Even better than Ajay Devgan. May be because from Devgan you expect a certain standard while playing gangsta roles especially after company. Randeep had the most amazing dialogue delivery and i havent really heard such a deep voice in the younger actors since ages. His performance was exactly where it should be. Neither in the under acting nor in the hamming zone. Just at the line. Ajay (obviously) was amazing and actually adds to the dialogues through his delivery of content. Emraan Hashmi (to my surprise) was tolerable. (May be i liked the dialogues too much that i dint really bother about who was saying those :P). Kangana. . Prachi Desai dint have much to do anyways.

Another thing i (could have) liked was the background score had i not known the original tracks Pritam lifted it from. I was surprised how shamelessly the guy can pick up such popular soundtrack as Rock n Rolla and pass off as his own. I dont think he knows that the movie also released in the metros and there are people who follow hollywood. A couple of songs (original or otherwise) are hummable especially pee loon. Also, i dont think Pritam was able to give that retro feel that the narrative deserved.

Direction was crisp, although the first half seemed slightly longer. The movie dint actually move too much till the interval. I would have liked it more if the animosity between emraan and ajay should have been kept for some more time, given more time to cook and then the climax. Because of the stretched first half , the ending seemed abrupt and all too sudden.

Anyways, I hope a sequel is on the cards (PS: please dont keep emraan hashmi there)

Overall : A Definite watch to remind you of the 70s cinema

Feel-O-Meter: 8/10

PS: Do you think randeep portraying Emraan's role could have been taken it even further?? Just a thought :)

Udaan: Fly High

Udaan is one of those movies which leave you teary eyes at times and sends you rolling in your chair laughing on others. Its a movie which everyone can relate to at some point or the other. Its about growing up. Its about difference of opinions. Its about the endless arguments with parents. Its about freedom. Its about individuality. Its about finding your own place in the sun. Its a movie which is supposed to be felt rather than seen. It touches a chord somewhere and you come back home with a smile. Good performances. Amazing Writing. Terrific Background Score/Tracks. Gripping Direction. Its almost the most perfect movie this year. Must watch for everybody.

As a background, Rohan (Rajat Barmecha) is expelled from his school and is sent back to his hometown jamshedpur. Back home he meets his step brother for the first time. His father is a strict disciplinarian who wants him to study engineering and work in his factory part time, but Rohan wants to become a writer. Its about his free spirit being slowly poisoned and how and whether he will break these shackles and fly high, where he belongs.

The main reason why the movie strikes an instant chord with the audience is because of its simplicity, realism and honesty. What every movie tries to, Udaan is. Althought he plot may be seem to be an extension of taare zameen par or 3 idiots, but the treatment is fresh. The audience just forgets everything and just gets immersed in the narrative. I think the credit goes to Vikramaditya Motwane, who as most first time directors, does everything that he can to remain honest about the story and gives the narrative its due credit at its own pace.

Another good thing about the movie was that the characters look like characters and not actors reading their parts. Rajat Barmecha as the 17 year old, Ronit Roy as the disciplinarian father, Ram Kapoor as the loving uncle and even the 6 year old Aayan Barodia. Everyone delivers.

Amit Trivedi's music and background score is a treat to listen and take the narrative further. It actually feels like a character in the script rather than a being just another background score. The songs just enhance the overall treatment. The last sequence when Rohan runs from his dad and the background music there just takes the movie to another level altogether.

There was nothing negative about the movie but the engineering college senior plot doesn't really add any value to the narrative and the first half seemed slightly slow towards the interval. 15 Mins shorter would have made it even better. But Its brilliant nonetheless.

I just wish that bollywood just takes a new flight of refreshing new cinema from this movie and reaches greater heights. :)

Feel-O-Meter : 9/10

Inception: Dream On

Inception is the new science fiction-psychological thriller-drama which tests your brain till its limit. Its the kind of a movie wherein you have to be at the edge of your seat at all times. One, because you are so engrossed in the story telling and second, because if you dont you are going to miss the plot altogether. Beautiful Concept. Phenomenal Direction. Terrific Background Score. Amazing special Effects But Average Performances and Very Confusing in parts. First entrant to the oscars this year and a Definite watch if you are a 'heavy-brainy' movie lover.

Leonardo Di caprio is plays an extractor who can enter people's dreams and extract information. He is approached by Ken Watanabe to perform an exercise called inception (which is basically planting an idea in a person's mind in his dreams) on a rival corporate leader to split up his large empire, and in return he would make arrangements to allow leo to enter US again where he is wanted for the murder of his wife, who happens to still be in his subconscious and keeps creating troubles for him whenever he is in his or somebody else's dreams. Add to that a few side kicks who help Leo perform inception. Anything more about the plot and you will get confused already and the story itself would run into 2-3 notes.

The best and the worst part about the movie was its plot. It was sheer brilliant as a concept and full marks to Nolan to even be able to come out with such a thought. How he takes a simple thought and takes it to a different level altogether and all the viewer can do is to wonder how the hell did he even think of this. Loved the dream with in a dream and the concepts of slower passage of time as you travel deeper. Full marks there, but as i said, its the worst part about the movie as well. Sometimes you have to concentrate so much that even if you miss like 30 seconds you are left wondering as to what exactly happened. As one of the characters in the movie herself says 'Whose subconscious are we in exactly, right now!!!' Its great but the layers seem so deep that it might end up frustrating you if you miss certain points.

I wasn't really impressed in the performance department by anybody in particular actually. Most might not agree, but i again think Leonardo was a misfit for the character. His very similar role in shutter island didn't help the movie either. There was no surprise or oh thats great element in the performance front. I more mature actor (especially in terms of looks) could have taken the narrative even further i guess.

The special Effects and CGI graphics were actually a surprise coming from a Nolan movie to be honest. But they were nothing short of extraordinary. Every single CGI scene had that 'Oh Shit, Can you really do that !!' factor. Hans Zimmer's score is phenomenal to say the least and reminds of The Dark Knight all the time.

The Movie seemed 20 minutes too long and the skiing/chase sequences seemed more like a transporter/bond movie and could have been avoided altogether. Also it reminds you a lot of the matrix. But definitely one of the finest movies this year and establishes christopher nolan in the league of camerons, spielbergs and scorseses if not surpassing them. A must watch if you like the movies wherein you get to use your brain. A Definite Oscar entrant for Best Movie, Best Musical Score and Even Best Special Effects may be this year.

Feel-O-Meter :8/10

PS: I know a lot of you would have given it a 10/10 but i guess too many complications, leo's repetitive performance after shutter island, the length of the movie, the forced action/chase sequences, and unimpressive acting by the cast overall would force me to deduct 2 :)

I Hate Luv Storys : Break Up :(

The movie starts on a promising note and ends up being absolutely rubbish. There is nothing in the movie except a couple of good songs, one or two good one liners and Imran Khan's cuteness (that too only in the first 30 minutes or so). Actors are Pathetic. Script is below average. Narrative seems broken at quite a few places. Background score is irritating to say the least. Its not the 'Damn.. I am frustrated' material and gives you a few moments here and there, which make you smile but thats the problem the moments are just too 'few'. Can watch but get ready to be irritated through a considerable part.

(Obviously) The movie is about a guy who doenst believe in the concept of 'luv' and a girl who just loves the idea of being in love. They Meet, They Hate, Girl likes him, then falls in love, Guy says No, Misses her, Realizes, Comes back, Girl Says no, Some twist and turns and the mandatory filmy ending. Funny part is that the movie mocks the whole concept of love stories and the 'bollywood cliches', but then ends up being the same ghisa pita formula itself. (May be that was the idea as well, but honestly if you had to come back to square one. Then spending crores and making a movie justifying the love-ness in bollywood was not really worth it i guess).

Its a cute-ish movie in the first half but drags so long in the second half that you are like ,'oh come on ya.. ho gaya.. ab bass kar mere baap'. But no, it goes on and on.The first half an hour was indeed very enjoyable and i went 'Hey.. I like this movie ya.. Pretty cute'. And i think 'Nazar lag gayi'. The movie just goes off the track suddenly. The second half is torturous to say the least, as if the director finished the movie and realized 'Oh shit. Only one hour long. What to do now? and then stretches it to another hour and 15-20 minutes. It just goes absolutely rubbish post intermission. Its like a different movie altogether. As if the crew was not paid and they took out all the frustration in the latter half just to take revenge.

It tries to mock the YRF-KJO genre but remains one of those itself. The Director just seemed to have no clue, as what he was trying to make. A Love story, Comedy, Drama, Parody and just leaves the script run amok without any sense of direction or purpose. Another example of trying to do too much and achieving nothing.

NONE of the actors were close to being 'average'. Almost everybody sucked. Some sucked bad. Others worse. The only saving grace(a bit) was Imran Khan, in the first half. He looks cute and performs sweet (and ya.. thats about it). Sonam Kapoor is anyways as irritating as her voice. Others are not even worth mentioning here. One of the worst 'complete package non-performance' this year. I think mis-casting was one of the prime reasons for its being a below average movie. I think the movie was not as bad as it turned out to be. Just replace everybody (including imran to ranbir) and it could have been an average one. Some lines were funny but they were delivered so bad that the jokes committed suicide

The thing that i liked about the movie was its Art direction, (to some extent) costumes design and (a much better) cinematography. Some of the dark shots taken under a spotlight were damn neat. But i dont really think these things can pull the audience to the theaters.

Overall : The most disappointing overhyped movie of the year so far. Its not bad but just not good enough. Can watch if have free time and tickets given that there is nothing else which is ON right now. But i suggest you leave after intermission.

Feel-O-Meter : 4/10

The A Team: B Grade

The movie is nothing but nonsensical high on adrenaline low on everything else bull shit. The only thing worth going for are two (at best three) innovative action sequences done on a very huge scale. Rest all is.... hmmmm... actually nothing even mentioning. If you are a hard core action fan and has absolutely nothing to do and have free tickets, you may go and watch it. Else, Go watch Iron Man on DVD instead.

To be honest, i dont think that the story even matters here. So wont even bother giving details. Well lets just say, its about 4 army rangers (who incidentally who have stripped off their ranks and have put in jail through a conspiracy. And in full bollywood style, they are in the avenge mode. Then some action. Then some more action and in the end, there is some enormous amount of unrequired large scale action.

Okay, (possibly) for the first time i dont have anything to say about a movie. Simply because i dont even remember what happened or i was just too bored between the action sequences and did not bother to even pay attention. You might find it surprising but Jessica Beil couldnt help either.

But, i must praise the action sequences. The scale and the canvas was as huge as it can get. Some of the sequences were pretty novel too. Especially two sequences, one with the tank flying experience and the last one with the dock yard explosions. Those two sequences were like.. wow..

Overall : Must Avoid. If you are not a die hard action movies fan and can survive two long hours for two 5 min sequences.

Feel-O-Meter : 3/10 (thats also pretty high i guess)

PS: Yes, Even i am amazed at the length of the review, but honestly, dont have anything to say at all.

Toy Story 3 : Toys R Us

The movie is a treat to watch. It manages that fine balance of emotions, adventure and humour in the most perfect way possible. You actually start feeling for the toys as if you are living their lives. Watch Toy Story and you will think twice before throwing away your old toys. It is like melted butter, have no hiccups anywhere and is as smooth as a movie can be. There are no awkward sequences filled to increase the length or anything else. In the end it just leaves you with a 'happy' feeling out of the cinema hall. Must Watch (even for those who havent seen the earlier two installments).

The movie is about friendship and togetherness. Andy is 17 years old and is off to college now. The Toys are scared that they might be thrown away now since he might not love them anymore. Accidentally, the toys land up in a day care center, which is ruled by the cutest teddy bear that you can imagine along with the sweetest 2 year old kid (doll) that you can find. The center is is like the best place on earth they could have hoped for. But then, if all is well, then there is no point making a movie right? The movie takes its twists and turns, full of adventures and misadventures and an amazingly powerful emotional ending that may even leave you teary eyed, if you get involved in the movie.

The narrative is grippy, the voices are superb, the animation is neat, the characters (though are toys) are believable. You even start relating to the characters' dreams and despairs as the movie progresses. There is this edge of the seat excitement where its required. The best part is that the movie doesnt try to do anything special. It is as smooth as a movie can get. There are no special sequences which could divide the movie in parts. It IS indeed a story as a whole rather than a colleciton of some good and some not so good scenes. Almost nowhere in the movie you feel like getting up and going for a leak or popcorn.

I think the only thing which i wished was better, was the quality of 3 D effects. I mean to be honest, there was absolutely no 3 D feeling in almost every sequence. It just looked like a normal 2 D animation movie but less bright and vibrant because of the black 3 D glasses. I would suggest you to watch it in 2 D only.

Overall: Absolute must watch if you are the animation movies kinds, even if you havent seen the earlier two installments. I hadn't either but still absolutely enjoyed it to the core.

Feel-O-Meter : 8/10

Robin Hood : is not Gladiator

The movie was pretty good as expected but the only problem was that it was only good. I mean with Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe you dont expected 'good', you expect much better. Its just not the DVD you would want to buy as soon as its out. You would most probably prefer to watch it on HBO. The movie had everything working for it but just misses out something which just makes it fall short of a great one. Its just not special enough. Good Cast. Good Performances. Good Direction. Good Cinematography. Good Art Direction. Good Background Score. Good Scipt. Everything was Good. Just 'Good'. There were no complaints in any of the departments from my side except that it felt a bit longish. About 20 mins shorter and it could be every more gripping. Not a 'Must Watch' but surely worth a 'One time watch'.

Quite Unexpectedly, the movie is NOT about Robin Hood's adventures. Its more like a prequel. It tells the story of him before he became the outlaw, which gives me a feeling that it could be a series planned already and this was the first instalment just to gauge ground. Its about how robin longstride became robin hood. The story has no 'oh my god' moments or surprises, but still i would refrain from mentioning anything about it.

The performances are very grippy and solid. Russell crowe is phenomenal as always. Cate Blanchett is okay too. Mark Strong is pretty good in his villainous avatar. Overall, no where you feel uncomfortable and can relate to the actors as characters. Another thing that i liked about the movie was its lack of special effects and Gore. I mean Ridley could have spilled blood all over, slicing people in half with swords or cut throats here and there, but he doesnt do it. There is no 'extra' effort in making it disgusting or painful to watch. The 'Story' matters not the 'Action'

The best thing about the movie was to do with its look, sound and feel. Locations, Art direction, Background Score and cinematography are all top notch. You feel like you are watching an A Grade hollywood flick. Especially the wide angles from the sky give you that grand feel while watching and background score makes it even grander. Definite thumbs up there.

Overall : A Damn Good movie and definitely one time watch, and you won't come back home irritated (read: raavan). If you have to choose a movie to watch this week (or next). This is the one.

Feel-O-Meter : 7/10

The Karate Kid : Needs to Grow up..

There is absolutely nothing new in the movie. As you already would be aware, its about a kid who has had absolutely no prior training in karate, trying to learn it from his master. The training is pretty boring. The fights are pretty boring. The love angle seems too forced. It just doesnt seem to connect at any level possible. The worst part is that the 'Kids' seem more grown up than the grown ups themselves. There is too much of 'maturity ' in the way they carry themselves. They look like actors playing their parts and not characters. Give it a miss

The only (i guess) new angle to it is that the kid is african american rather than chinese. He has to shift to China since her mother is transferred. Then Bollywood kicks in, as he falls in love (yes.. there is a love story with a 12 year old Black Boy and a Chinese Girl). Then there are villains (all not even teenagers) who kick his butt and in order to save his ass, he has to participate in a karate tournament. And (obviously) Jackie Chan trains him and the kid wins the tournament in the end.

The movie failed at multiple levels for me. As already established, the Kids dont seem like Kids. It looks like a high school/college love story. There is too much 'No mercy' for kids in their pre teens. The fights seem to violent. The tournament itself, doesnt look like a kids' tournament. It looks like a bloody royal rumble or a world heavyweight boxing championship. The (12 year old) kids are out their to break each others' legs or necks with their deadly moves and the trainers ask them for 'No Mercy'. Even the Moms are cheering!!!

The training seems too 'Rocky Balboa-ish', with the kid flexing his biceps while training. Also, there was no 'training' per se. After a (not so much of a) routine for a couple of days, suddenly the kid learns karate with in 30 seconds or so. And then (obviously) he beats up the 'trained' kids one by one in the tournament. Too much to achieve with too little training it seems. And thus, movie loses its 'Oh.. It is possible'-ness.


Also, when the movie has 'Karate' in its title. You expect some karate in the movie and not a 10 min sequence at the end filled with 'ropey antics'. There was too little karate for a karate movie. There are no emotional moments. No Ohh poor kid scenes. Absolutely nothing that one might remember after one comes out of the hall.

Jackie Chan should stick to what he does best. Doing unbelievable non traditional martial arts stunts, which make you go, 'Ohhhh.. How did he do it?' rather than acting like a drunkard trying to (yes, only trying to) teach karate to a 12 year old kid.

Overall : An absolute failure at every level. Do NOT watch

Feel-O-Meter :2/10

Raavan: Good Cause Gone Evil

I write this review with utter disappointment and despair. I am more sad than frustrated or irritated. Cant believe that a film maker like Mani Ratnam could make such a movie. Infact, when i heard from so many people thats its pretty bad, i assumed that they would not have understood the plot and Mani would have made it too 'Interpretative'. But sadly i annoucne, that the movie is just one of the worst i have seen in recent times. It is just plain boring.

It had the most promising Storyline on paper, but unfortunately it stayed only on paper. The execution was as bad as it could have got. Actors are hamming to the core. Dialogues are pathetic. Narrative is slow. Music is as if Rahman just went to some old box of music sheets and gave it to Mani Ratnam as he was too busy composing for some international project. Background score is cacophonous to say the least. The only redeeming factor was excellent cinematography by Santosh Sivan, a few interpratations of Ramayana which were very thoughtful and... hmmm.. nothing else actually.

The plot itself was the backbone of the film. Imagine taking Ramayana and giving the 'Good vs Evil' a whole new interpretation. According to me, the central theme was 'Good is Who does Good' and nothing can be described in Good vs Evil just by itself. In the movie Raavan doesn't kill anybody in the movie who is not a policeman. He even leaves Ram and Laxman Alive when he gets his chance as well. But Ram uses Sita as a tool to kill Raavan. How Ram can become Ravana and how Ravana can be a hero just by their deeds. Phenomenal Storyline but the execution screwed it all.

One problem that i found was with the marketing, even the name of the film itself. When you name a movie 'Raavan' you already disclose every single thing about the plot and the audience is never interested in the story because they already know about it. Its a different high altogether when you go to the cinema hall and then 'decode' the inferences to the epic. Thats what raajneeti did amazingly well. You dint know it was based on mahabharata but as you went ahead in the movie, you started drawing parallels and had that 'ohhhh.. thats a nice way of putting things in perspective' expression. It would have been much more interesting had he not disclosed that it was based on ramayana. Then, 'finding' out that its based on the epic would be much more exciting and gripping. The characters like ram, sita, raavan, hanuman, laxman, supranakha,vibheeshana would make more sense.

As already established, it was amazingly written on paper in terms of giving a new dimension to the epic's interpretation. I just loved the parallels that mani drew with laxman cutting supranakha's nose and in the movie it is done through her rape. Even in hindi Naak Katnaa is equivalent to rape/pre marital sex itself. I think that was amazingly put across but such instances were too few to quote.

I just wish that movie is made again without the 'Stars'. Abhishek bacchan was the worst of the lot. He hams more than KRK. Has no idea what is doing and why. Just flexing his facial expressions and doing a nana patekar here and there. Aishwarya is doing nothing but flaunting her cleavage in skimpy and amazingly tight blouses. I wonder how she was breathing. (PS : Though i am not complaining here ;D ) Govinda was pretty sweet in his hanuman portrayal. Rest nobody had anything to do anyways.

Music (specially background score) was Cacophonous to say the least. God knows why 'Ranjha Ranjha' started playing in Rekha Bhardwaj's spooky tone in one of the sequences which was irritating to say the least. Suddenly Ganesh Acharya comes in the middle of a song sequence. There was no head and tail with any song what so ever. They were just there coz film maker thought I have to have a few songs if i am paying rahman for the job.

Overall: One of the most disappointing movies in recent times. I still cant believe maniratnam screwed such a great story. I just wish somebody makes it again with no 'stars'.

Feel-o-Meter : 4 (which i think is on the higher side, but 2 each for a couple of 'interpretations' in the narrative were very thoughtful and good cinematography)

Shutter Island : Scorsese Meets Shyamalan

The movie is an absolute edge of the seat stuff. From the very first scene when leonardo enters the shutter island, you can't even think of taking a call (boss' or natures included) and you just want to remain seated and witness scorsese's brilliance. Its a psychological blink and you miss thriller. Every 10 minutes you have a different question in mind. Whether this is happening or that? Sometimes you even start to feel schizophrenic yourself. Sometimes you feel its a thriller, Others it seems like a horror flick. But then, you don't expect the master to do a horror flick, right. The best part is its unpredictability. The screenplay is just amazing. Must Watch at any cost.


Well, Almost throughout the movie i kept thinking about M. Knight Shyamalan style of psychological thriller types movie making. It was as if the movie was not by Scorsese but by him. It was the same creepy feeling, the same 'I see Dead people' kinda feel to it. And it works amazingly well.

The only problem about this review is that i cannot divulge any details with respect to the storyline or else it'll be a spoiler. And the flip side is no matter how much i praise this movie, the review will not give you 'the feel' that the movie will deliver. The movie is about a mental institution headed by Dr Cawley (Ben Kingsley) where prisoners are sent to for treatment, at a secluded island. Edward Daniels (Leo), a US marshall comes to investigate the case of a patient who suddenly disappears from her locked room. Edward has his own history of being a US soldier in germany during second world war and a wife who died because a fire broke out in his house. To top that, Edward thinks that the institution itself could be practicing human experiments and the patients are the just the guinea pigs for those experiments. The movie goes back and forth from one story to the other layer by layer and the ending is just crazy (in a good way)

The Score by Gustav Mahler reminded me a lot of the great Hans Zimmer and i dont think i need to say anything more. It was just plain brilliant. It just took the movie to a different level altogether. It just sends chills through your spine in every single shot. The cinematography with all those grey tones was fabulous. The art direction and the sets were top of the line as well.

Overall an absolute cracker and a must must watch.

Feel-O-Meter : 9/10 (I know i havent said anything bad about it, then why 1 point less?? check out the PS note)

PS: I just wish that in place of Leonardo, the movie had Russell Crowe (even Bruce Willis would do). It would have taken the movie in a different trajectory altogether. Leo was not bad but he is just not as brilliant an actor to take the load of such a heavy script. His main problem is his looks. No matter how hard you try, you cannot take out 'Titanic' out of him. Just imagine Russell Crowe in the last couple of sequences in the movie while watching and you'll know what i mean. :)

Raajneeti: Absolutely Kick Ass

Raajneeti is definitely the film of the year (in the first six months of 2010) for me. It is an absolutely intense political drama which derives its roots from mahabharata. Prakash Jha imports the plot to the current times, removes all the unnecessary details, packages it with pretty saving grace performance by the 'non actors' some intense performances by the 'actors' and you get a cracker of a movie. It is in the same league as his earlier films like Apaharan and Gangajal but would be much more successful than the others because of its ensemble cast who can draw the 'non serious' movie going crowd as well. Dont miss it no matter what.

The movie (as already described) take its inspiration from the Mahabharata and Jha makes its own improvisations in the plot for commercial fitment and sets it in Madhya Pradesh (and not Bihar as in the earlier movies). Add to that an NRI 'kid of the family' Ranbir who comes for a vacation and gets absorbed in the violence and power politics (Think Virasat, Sarkaar etc). The cousin, Manoj Bajpai, wants to be the CM at any cost and is supported by Ajay Devgan. The movie leaps forward through a whole series of events through which every half an hour the power pendulum keeps swinging from one side to the other. The story is unidimensional but the screenplay backed by some powerful performances takes it to another level. For me, the interpretation of mahabharata and setting the characters in today's time was an awesome thought and executed beautifully.

Apart from a very gripping screenplay, the soul of the movie lies in the power packed performances by (almost) all the actors. Saying anything about Nana Patekar's performance is like belittling him. He is the choice of the lot and even when he is not delivering his lines, just his screen presence is enough. Next in line is Manoj Bajpai. Man, is he good or is he phenomenal. He plays the sidelined, power hungry, jealous cousin in a way only he could have. He has this 'feel' around the character that can only be felt and not described. I think its his best after Satya. No complaints from Ajay Devgan. I think he proves the 'Its all in the eyes' theory to the core. Ranbir does a very fair job knowing his acting limitations and sticking to them. It shows the maturity that he is gathering as an actor. The non-actors (Arjun Rampal and Katrina Kaif) are tolerable as well and you dont feel uncomfortable when they are on screen.

Overall : The first (i guess) Mahabharata improvisation till date. Definitely the best movie so far this year and a must watch.

Feel-O-Meter: 9/10

PS: I just wish they could cast somebody place of Arjun Rampal (who looks good till the time he doesnt open his mouth) and also the case with Katrina Kaif (Yes that irritating tooti footi Hindi is still as bad as earlier). and ya, it is NOT inspired from the Gandhi family.

Pathshala : Fail :(

The movie is so bad that i dont even feel like writing the review. It was like the most amazing and noble idea which got screwed because everything just went too bad. I even started wondering that how in the world, can every department fail such synchronistically. Director almost forgot what he was trying to make. Actors were either hamming or were trying to desperate to look cute or most of the times had no idea what were they doing. Script had like the worst written scenes. Story just kept moving without having any sense of direction or idea. Songs (except one which is ammmazing to say the least) were as bad as they come. Half way in the movie i lost interest as well as the plot. I was hardly bothered about what was happening on screen and was chit chatting with my friend. All in all, not at all worth your time even if you are like the wella-est person at the weekend.

After i heard the bekaraar song and heard about the plot, i was pretty excited to watch this movie. The movie is (obviously) about a school, its principal (and his principles), teachers, students and its trustees. It is (supposed) to talk about the recent branding and commercialization of education/schools in the recent past, where in the parents are least bothered about the education system in a particular school and are rather concerned about the brand name. This was the basic premise, but the director in order to make sure that it appeals to a larger set of audience, zabardastily introduced a number of different sub plots like use of children in reality shows etc. The movie just lost its main plot and i somehow got lost in the middle as to what was the point it was trying to make. I think it was one of the better storylines in recent times (at least on paper) and could have done wonders if made correctly. It had all the right ingredients present. Everybody wants to go back to those school days but it just did not hit at the right spot at all.

Actors (apart from Nana Patekar) were as bad as they are supposed to be, given their (supposed) acting prowess! Shahid Kapoor was as usual his stone faced best. Ayesha Takia did not have anything to do in the movie anyways. The Kids were too over exposed already on television, so they already have lost the innocence in their performances. The grown up kids look like wannabe models (and some of them already are as well ). Nana Patekar delivers a very powerful speech in the end (Just like Amitabh Bachan did in Rann) which according to me was the only good thing about the movie. And i doubt you would want to spend more than 2 hours and a couple of hundred rupees to watch a two minute monologue.

Even on the production front, i think it was among some of the worst movies in recent times. Even the make up was so pathetic that it looked like a 90s TV serial with characters wearing fake moustaches (Honeslty speaking, we used to have better make up even in my inter collegiate theater days). A kid whose face is supposed to look like its burnt or damanged, looks as if there is a black chewing gum stuck on his face. Just the worst ever.

Positives: One song(which is amazingly written, composed and sung but picturized in the worst possible way) and a 2 minute monologue by Nana Patekar.

Negative : Everything else.

Overall: The movie was a disappointment on all front for me. Don't watch even if you have all the time and free tickets

Feel-O-Meter: 2/10

PS: Funny it is that i started the review by writing that i do not even want to write the review and still managed to write so many negatives about the movie ;)