Andaz Apna Apna Quotes

Collection of most dialogues i could remember or find.. Kick Ass i say!!!

* Main Jaanta tha.. Main Jaanta tha

* Teja Main hoon, Mark Idhar hai.

* Main Teja hoon kyunki mera naam bhi Teja hain

* Nahii.. Ghutna Nahi.. Ghutna Nahi..

* Arey. Udhar idhar kya dekhte hain. Idhar udhar dekhiye.. Idhar udhar..

* Happy Budday Robert

* Nahi Nahi tum lo. Tumhari budday hai. tum lo

* Lagta hey katcha khiladi hai yeh.

* Na surat, na shakal, na akal. Jise dekho chala aa raha hai

* Unkey ek ek sawal hamarey do dod jawab...Sawal Ek Jawab Do. sawal jawab sawal jawab...chupp.......

* Jhakaaass...shabash cheetey, shabaash...ab aya hy oonth pahaar k nichey..

* Gogo Sahab, aapka ghaghra.

* Teesri baar tu khush hua tha. Jab tune apni maami ke ghaghre ka naada....

* Langde Baapu.. Langde baapu

* Robert : aapne bataya nahin sir, aaj mera bday hai.

* Ye bichhu ka zeher hain. Pinewala 2 hi minute main pila hokar nila ho jata hain. Kifayati aur bharosemand!

* Dhak ki tiki dhak ki tiki dhak ki tiki dhak ki tiki,,,dhaa....isme toh ek hee goli thi!!!

* Bread ka badhshah ur amlet ka rajja BAJAJ humara BAJAJJJJJJ !!!!!

* Robert: Phir Sir aap kyon nahi gaye London???
Teja: Kaise jaata main? kaise jaata....? Kya mujhe London dekhne ka mann nahi hai kya? kaise jaata...? Pehle uss Mugambo ka dus karor ka gaphla kar baitha ab uska bhatija crime master Gogo mujhe dhundh raha hai... usse kisi tarah bach raha hoon! aur doosra apna munim Harisha...nkar tha na... uska maine galti se game kar diya... lekin achcha hua... bahut bore karta tha saalaa, hameshaa dharm-karm ki baatein karta tha... bahut bore karta tha... achcha hua uska bhi game ho gaya...!!!

* Abhi Aap.. Piyo.. Arey piyo piyo.. Peeta hai ya lagaoo sir pe ek. Abey peeta hai ya lagaoo bum pe ek

* Uncle aa gaye , Uncle aa gaye. Uncle humne apni jaan par khel ke bachaya hai... aaiye aaiye uncle .. yahaan aage aaiye , are phir main chalaoonga kaise.. uncle beech main aaiye.. uncle uncle 'Dandi' pe baithiye.

* Ye dekh... ye dekh... ye dekh...

* Kya namaste,namaste?? dawat pe aye ho kya???

* Sir, Yeh Vasco da Gama ki Gun hain.

* Siir lakh lakh ke pachas cheque hoyenge...

* Yeh Teja Teja Kya Hai??? Ye Teja Teja .....??

* Ailaa !! Seeta aur Geeta ??!! Seeta aur Geeta nahi be, Raam aur Shaam. Han han wohi wohi :))

* Khandaani chor hun main, khandaani... Mogambo ka bhateeja GOGO :))

* Raveena ki maa mai aa raha hoon!!

* Goli nahin thi toh bataya kyun ...

* Aankhen nikaal kar gotiya khelunga....

* KISKE Mama ki Gun hain!!!

* abe ye firauti ka paisa hai ya maiyat ka chanda

* Main darta nahin, bas thoda sa gabrata hoon.

* chal chal...uttar niche...godiwale...

* ye dekh goga, in heero'n ko aakhri baar dekh le! tere kisse se ek aur naya kissa jud jayegaa ... haath ko aaya par muh na laga

* mera boss??....kaun hai mera boss???....mera boss kaun hai????

* Babulal kaha tha kaan sabhal k katna

* Kaun sa mark re .... kahe ka mark yaar... Teja main hoon safed Ramu ... Main Teja hoon.........Teja Main hoon mark idhar hai !!!!! BHaad mein gaya mark ... main idhar hoon na yaar

* yeh topi aapne New York se kharidi hai? nahi America se.. accha accha mujhe laga New York se..

* Sala circus ka retired bandar lag raha hai.

* sala shakal se to bidi ke kharkhane ka majdoor lagta hain..........!

* sir shakkar dalnai ka time ho gaya?

Tum Mile : (Surprisingly!!) Survivable..

Well. This was my first emran hashmi movie and yes. I just about made through. Its a very average movie but ya, you can survive through it, provided you keep an open mind and stop looking at actors(obv you have to think long and hard to watch an emran hashmi starrer) and noticing characters. The characters are very well written. Script is not too loose. Storyline is pretty simple but intriguing. Performances are pretty average (but i obv was not expecting an oscar winner here anyways). Music is very nice (Infact thats one of the main reason i actually saw this movie). Overall not the worst movie ever made. If you have to watch it, you can.

But somehow i felt that the love story was much more interesting than the 25/7 setting. If the setting can be discounted and movie remade with a better star cast and only the love story. I think it can work ammazingly well. A few moments were actually touching. The love story is very well thought of. And most will actually be able to relate to it. The 25/7 background (i believe) was only there to create hype, and was not required. Infact, that works as a distraction from the main story. Make it again with better actors and without the 25/7 background and i will watch it a few times over.

Plot: The plot revolves around a live-in couple who have their share of laughs and fights and end up separating only to meet again during 25/7(Quite filmy.. I know). During that one night they realize that they are made for each other and has a happy ending with a few (unrequired) twists and turns. Just get rid of the 25/7 setting please.

Performances: Soha does a pretty above average job(Given that i did not expect her to be able to 'act' at all). Although i cannot tolerate Emraan at all, but i tried my level best to not be biased because of my personal dislike and infact i kinda liked what he did. The guy acts in his limited capacity and does not go overboard at all, which i seemed to liked. Rest there is nobody else anyways in the cast.

Music: I quite liked a couple of songs. Especially the title track. I think it was damn neat. Also Dil Ibadat and Tu hi haqeeqat are worth mentioning.

Technicals: Very ordinary. They could have done a much better job while creating the 25/7 sequences. But that obviously would have required some more spending which i am not sure would have been allowed. Rest nothing worth mentioning.

Positives: Neat Story. Decently tight script. Does not lose its pace mostly. Okayish performances. No hickups. Pretty smooth actually.

Negatives: Again not any major problems but the 25/7 background did not work for me. Also could have been even shorter. I wish it was only a love story minus the setting and the fact that its an emraan hashmi movie!

Overall: Pretty average and survivable if you dont have any major hang ups against emraan hashmi!

Feel-o-Meter: 6/10 (Yes. You read it right.. 6.. :-p )

2012: Kick Ass. Plain Simple.. Kickkk Assss!!!

100% paisa vasool for me. I ONLY went for the graphics. Ignored anything else and was damn damn happy with the movie. Some of the scenes are so 'Oh my Gawdddd' that you just cannot afford to miss it. And there were some like "How the hell can they even imagine this.. forget about filming". And For god's sake, dont go with that 'Whats apart from the graphics' curiousity. Just go for some spell binding, kick ass action and you will NOT be disappointed. And for all those who think its nothing but graphics and action. You guys are damn right and yeah.. F**k you!! :-D

Every single scene.. You just go.. How the f**k can they even think about this. I mean the canvas is too friggin big. I still am in the awe of the writer/director who COULD think of such masssive scale and effects. Whole buildings going down in a flash. Trains flying in the sky. Highways gone in a flash. A whole city just breaks in half and is wasted in the sea. Tsnunamis hitting the himalayas!!! wow.. wow.. and WOW!!! Full marks for even daring to 'imagine' forget about thinking of filming it!!

Plot: Do you really care?? I mean in hollywood sci-fi flick these days. Do you really bother about the plot or the story or the 'message'!!! Its a one liner plot. Some eruptions from the sun has some heating effect on the earth's core and there are earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, tsunamis, shifting of poles etc etc. The world is coming to an end and there are some people who are trying to survive.. Blah.. Blah..

Performance: What else can be expected apart from the usual screams and exaggerated expressions going.. aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.. Ohhhh shiitttttt.. Runnnnnnn... etc etc. Nobody has any other thing to do apart from those screams etc.

Technicals: Ofcourse special effects are the biggest, meanest, most imaginative and craziest EVERR on screen. But when there are no special effects and in close shots, it gives a kinda 'sit comish' feel. I guess its gotta do with some new technology of cinematography used or something. But gives an uncomfy feeling during those shots. But yeah. I dont think i know enough to even comment on special effects of that stature.

Positives: Kick Ass Special Effects. Ammmmmazing creativity. Imaginative.. Just too f**king imaginative.

Negatives: Too lengthy. Gets a bit preachy in the middle and you start to feel, 'when would the next big sequence' come, Gets repetitive since there is nothing one can do apart from running from nature. But i think EVERY negative is forgotten once the sequences start flowing. I just wish that ending had been less preachy and more kick ass like the start!!

Overall : Fullll Feel. Kick Ass action, Graphics and Special Effects. Must Must Watch

Feel-O-Meter : 8/10

Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani: Naah.. Nothing 'Ghazab'. No Prem. Definitely No Kahani. :-(

Well. Not that i HATED the movie but honestly, i dint come out with anything after the movie. Good movies you have something left with you after you are finished. Something that reminds me of that movie. In this case. I dint get that feel at all. The movie is too overrated and i dont understand why on earth have some critics given it 4 stars!!!! There is almost no chemistry between the lead pair. Story, Script, Direction, Comedy, Senti Stuff. Almost nothing worked for me. But yeah, A couple of sequences here and there are quite funny, but overall. Feel nahi aayi yaar. Katrina looks pretty (obviously). Ranbir is cute(obviously). But nothing else, I guess i was expecting too much from Santoshi after being a die hard fan of Andaz Apna Apna. Disappointed.

First things first, Its not that i dont like Silly Slapstick stuff or something(For the record: I loved 'All the best') but this just didnt do it for me. The jokes were too stale. The slapstick was straight out of a school skit. I guess the movie just tried too hard to be funny and it shows. Santoshi so desperately wanted to replicate an AAA. Named the key character as Prem. Even the villain's right hand is called 'Robert'(and even casts the same actor, Viju Khote). The climax also tried the same AAA setting and slapstick but just dint work. You cant copy your own classic and lift a few sequences and expect to make a kick ass movie out of it. And that exactly happened. It just ended up being a confused movie. I am still not sure if its a romantic comedy with some senti twists or is it a comedy with romance as the side plot!!!

Plot: There was nothing 'Ghazab' in the story. Its a very plain simple love story with a couple of predictable twists. Guy meets girl. Starts liking her. Girl loves somebody else. He tries to help her find the true love. Twists. Turns. Predictable Ending. Done. With these simple storylines, 'Treatment' makes the difference and in this case. It dint.

Performance: Ranbit is Cute. Katrina looks pretty. hmmmmm.. I guess thats it.

Technicals: Technicals!!! What!!! You actually are looking at ANY sort of technical expertise anywhere?? Anyways. Nothing noticable. One song picturized full frozen(Madonna) style was pretty good. Baaki.. Nothing to mention.

Music: I guess the only saving grace for the movie. Nice songs. Some very good too. I liked Dil tera, Tu Jaane Na and Prem ki Naiyya a lot. Worth a buy(or download). Definitely!

Positives: Hmmm... The Cute Ranbir. He has done a pretty decent job. Songs. A couple of really funny sequences. A couple of really well written dialogues too. But nothing much apart from that

Negatives: Trying too hard to tickle your funny bone especially in the end. Stupid twists(Kat and Ranbir Stammering!!!!). Very ordinary script and performances by most.

Overall: Can watch with friends (or girlfriend/boyfriend) if dont have anything better to do. Ignore some stuff and enjoy some of the funny moments and come back. Zyada load nahi lene ka

Feel-O-Meter: 4/10

LONDON DREAMS: Buy One, Get Two !!!!

COMBO OFFER!!!! Buy one ticket and get Two dreams free. One on screen called london dreams and the other one in your sleep during the first half!!! Infact, there are two movies in one. It sucks in the first half but picks up in the second. Its a classic example of being plain Stupid to sheer amazing from first to the second half. Cinematography and AD's performance are damn neat. Salman is okay. Music is Bad. Story was damn good but script screwed it. One time watch and i soooo wish somebody makes the same movie again but keeps it short and to the point without stupid jokes and masala stuff. Watchable.

First things first, Its not too bad a movie as well provided you can survive the stupidity, not funny jokes, zabardasti ka character establishment and illogical stuff (i am sure you are not looking for logic in a salman starrer anyways..) The second half is very nice specially performance by AD. He does his usual best in the intense scenes.

Plot: I am sure you would have guessed through the promos, that its a story of jealousy between two friends because the second is more successful than the first. Just to add that extra flavour, a love triangle is also thrown. Add to that some senti family pride motivation. and you get London Dreams' plot. Honestly i love the storyline but script and dialogues were just so pathetic that you start pitying the poor story writer.

Performance: AD rocks. He is known for his intense performances and he delivers damn damn good. You just need to be patient and ignore his spiked-gelled-colored hair, earrings, tight white t shirts, tight brown checks wali trousers and yeah.. he does look damn funny when he tries to perform on stage like a Rockstar!!!!! ;-p But once you ignore that part. He is amazing. Salman does his bit as the 'star performer'. Keeps the audiences interest alive. His character is written pretty well, just that the extra bit of his being a 'playboy' was not required. Asin has nothing to do but to 'dance' in the background while a rock performance(!!!!) is going on with all that 70s look. (Imagine!!!!) She does her bit as the cute wide eyed girl who just runs here and there and keeps giving a shy smile. Thats her job and she does it well.

Technicals: Cinematography is damn good. Ammazing actually. The color combinations in 'Tapke Tapke' was great. Light sequences during stage shows were damn neat as well. Apart form that everything sucks. Direction, Script, Music, Dialogues everything.

Music: One or two songs are hummable. Rest are PATHETIC to the core. You tend to start laughing actually!! I sooo missed Rahman :-(

Positives: AD's performance. Cinematography, Salman is good too.

Negatives: Direction. Script. Dialogues, Stupid jokes, Length

Overall : Its a one time watch with a few friends when you are just planning to have fun. Provided you can ignore Salman and AD miming at hindustani classical songs wearing Black suits with white ties (that too with silver polca dots!!!) AD Rocks. Definitely a one time watch for him.

Feel-o-Meter : 5/10

PS: I soooo wish somebody makes the same movie again with a tigher script, keeps it short without the stupid jokes and parallel tracks, AR Rahman as music director. I will watch it 10 times over. Is anybody listening :-(

All the Best: You get what you expect!!

You get exactly what you expect from this movie.. A totally crazy mind less comedy with ammmazing feeel.. The jokes are lame but still work. The script was written on the set and still is kick ass.. The comic timing is just about raapchick.. and performances.. The same old slapstick returns with 'situational' tricks.. Take some crazy friends along, maaro some seetis on PJs, ennjoy, come back, forget and get back to work!!

Okay, first things first. If you the 'Intellectual Cinema Lover' and dont belong to the David Dhawan, Rohit Shetty genre of comedy then, DO NOT read this review. Just go and watch some film festival type movie and discuss the camera angles. IF you just watch movies for fun and dont try to find logic anywhere, then also DO NOT read this review.. Go to the theaters and watch this flick!!! hehe..

Plot: Do you realllly care??? Its just some confusion thrown here and there. Add to that some funny characters with some very funnny PJs and decent treatment and you get the plot.. If you are still interested its about lies and coverups and rest you can go and figure yourself

Performance: Obviously nothing award winning, but yeah, nobody seems like an awkward fit anywhere. All were decent. The girls anyways dint have anthing to do but look pretty. They did that. Johny lever dint have anything to do but to make strange faces. He did that. Ditto applies to others too. Sab theek thaak hai..

Technicals: Yeah sure.. IF you are actually gonna watch this.. I am sure you are NOT the technical types anyways.. But ya.. the color combination could have been slightly less pink, green, orange-ish..

Positives: Tremendously funny comic timing, Crrrazy pull your hair out PJs, Slapstick.

Negatives: Arrrey Chill maar, relax karr aur forget about the negatives

Overall: Dont Think. Just Grab a couple of wella and crazzy friends who dont make faces while watching un-intellectual cinema, Go, Enjoy and come back.

Feel-O-Meter: 6/10 (Yes.. You are right.. I rate it higher than Blue)

Blue: Just Style No Substance

Well, Its not the worst movies ever made But definitely not worth a second watch. Pathetic Performances, Almost No Storyline, Good for Nothing Script. On the positives, It has some kick ass action sequences and ammazing under water photography. Go only if you have nothing much to do this weekend. And restrict yourself to the normal seats, dont waste money on the Gold/Premier Class.

First things first, The movie has almost nothing on the substance front. One line story, Bad performances, Stars who dont fit in characters, no script, no direction, almost nothing. What it lacks there, it compensates on the style front. Lara Dutta in her usual cleavage flaunting best(or should i say breast.. hehe), Classy action sequences, Kick ass marketing with all the hype around it being the most expensive movie ever made(although i couldnt understand WHERE that money was spent), Decent background score etc.

Plot : As already established, its about a treasure hunt with a few twists and turns (The bad part is that the hunt itself lasts for 15-20 mins and the build up to the hunt stretches almost 1.5 hours) and honestly i was not impressed by nothing there.

Performances: Not a single name comes up. Akshay kumar anyways is only known for his action sequences (although in Blue i dont even remember a single one from him) and not his acting prowess. Sanjay Dutt should take a break from action movies and concentrate on stuff like lokhandwala. He in his 50+ looks such a miscast that its almost pathetic. And Top that with her pairing with LARA.. I mean dude.. get a life.. Zayed khan: No comments. Lara Dutta: Does her bit in those tiny winy bikinies.. (Hey.. what else you expect from her). Katrina : Yeah, she is there too in a couple of sequences. NOBODY impressed.

Music: A Couple of tracks are nice but i doubt if you take 'em with you after the movie is finished. Background score is kick ass. Those chase sequences have some really ammazing background score. Full points there.

Technicals : Okay, THIS was the only saving grace for the movie. The phoren cinematographer captures the underwater shots ammmazingly well. The lighting, the colours, everything just perfect. I think for me he was the actual hero for me. Honestly speaking, I think the director was too bored to direct the movie so he just gave some extra money to the action coordinator who did a pretty good job in most sequences (specially the earlier chase sequences, which became repetitive later on though).

Positives: Hmmmm.. Action Sequences, Cinematography and Ishtyle Quotient

Negatives: No story, Pathetic Script, Bad Performances

Overall : Only style no substance. Watch only if you dont have anything better (or as i always say "Less worse") to do. Got some extra cash to spare. And you dont really bother about storyline, script, performances and like a movie for ammazing marketing and hype!!! ;-)

Feel-O-Meter: 5/10 (2 each for action and underwater cinematography and 1 for sheer scale and bravado)