Pathshala : Fail :(

The movie is so bad that i dont even feel like writing the review. It was like the most amazing and noble idea which got screwed because everything just went too bad. I even started wondering that how in the world, can every department fail such synchronistically. Director almost forgot what he was trying to make. Actors were either hamming or were trying to desperate to look cute or most of the times had no idea what were they doing. Script had like the worst written scenes. Story just kept moving without having any sense of direction or idea. Songs (except one which is ammmazing to say the least) were as bad as they come. Half way in the movie i lost interest as well as the plot. I was hardly bothered about what was happening on screen and was chit chatting with my friend. All in all, not at all worth your time even if you are like the wella-est person at the weekend.

After i heard the bekaraar song and heard about the plot, i was pretty excited to watch this movie. The movie is (obviously) about a school, its principal (and his principles), teachers, students and its trustees. It is (supposed) to talk about the recent branding and commercialization of education/schools in the recent past, where in the parents are least bothered about the education system in a particular school and are rather concerned about the brand name. This was the basic premise, but the director in order to make sure that it appeals to a larger set of audience, zabardastily introduced a number of different sub plots like use of children in reality shows etc. The movie just lost its main plot and i somehow got lost in the middle as to what was the point it was trying to make. I think it was one of the better storylines in recent times (at least on paper) and could have done wonders if made correctly. It had all the right ingredients present. Everybody wants to go back to those school days but it just did not hit at the right spot at all.

Actors (apart from Nana Patekar) were as bad as they are supposed to be, given their (supposed) acting prowess! Shahid Kapoor was as usual his stone faced best. Ayesha Takia did not have anything to do in the movie anyways. The Kids were too over exposed already on television, so they already have lost the innocence in their performances. The grown up kids look like wannabe models (and some of them already are as well ). Nana Patekar delivers a very powerful speech in the end (Just like Amitabh Bachan did in Rann) which according to me was the only good thing about the movie. And i doubt you would want to spend more than 2 hours and a couple of hundred rupees to watch a two minute monologue.

Even on the production front, i think it was among some of the worst movies in recent times. Even the make up was so pathetic that it looked like a 90s TV serial with characters wearing fake moustaches (Honeslty speaking, we used to have better make up even in my inter collegiate theater days). A kid whose face is supposed to look like its burnt or damanged, looks as if there is a black chewing gum stuck on his face. Just the worst ever.

Positives: One song(which is amazingly written, composed and sung but picturized in the worst possible way) and a 2 minute monologue by Nana Patekar.

Negative : Everything else.

Overall: The movie was a disappointment on all front for me. Don't watch even if you have all the time and free tickets

Feel-O-Meter: 2/10

PS: Funny it is that i started the review by writing that i do not even want to write the review and still managed to write so many negatives about the movie ;)

Badmaash Company: Average Returns

The movie is one of those 'average' movies which neither leave you excited nor complaining about anything. Its just a plain simple movie which can easily ignore and also not mind watching it. There is almost nothing in the movie which makes it special but you would not leave it in the middle too. It just goes on at its pace without any hiccups for a pretty good time, then comes a small preachy bit which irritates you and then comes back on track for the happy ending.

The movie is about friendship and 'lets get rich' quick mentality. Its set in mid 90s and unfolds in India and US in first and second half respectively. The friends want to make some quick bucks and they start using the customs Duty regime in India in a very cunning and con-ning way. The movie then moves to US with similar tricks. Then comes the preachy 'oh we are friends', 'lets forget rich and get respected', 'i love my family (and india)' stuff, and then it ends with a cunning but not con-ning way of making money with a happily ever after K3G types ending.

All the actors were pretty decent and i never felt uncomfortable about anybody's performance. Infact, i really liked Chang (Yes, the guy from Indian Idol)'s act. He was pretty smooth. Rest all were decent and there were no hiccups anywhere (although a couple of smooches were definitely not required) And ya jfyi, Anushka Sharma is just not hot no matter how low her tops or how high her skirt is.

The title track is pretty groovy and your shoulders just start moving when you hear it. There were a couple of 'what!!! is that really a song' kinda crappy songs too which i am sure you will ignore. Baaki, nothing great to write about anywhere else.

Overall : I'm sure you are not dying to watch it anyways but if you get cheap tickets and have time, you will not get too bored either

Feel-O-Meter : 5/10

Iron Man 2 : Loha Garam hai.

For me, Iron Man has never been anything to do with the hi tech gadgets or kick ass action. For me, It has always been about Robert Downey Jr's portrayal of Witty, Flambuoyant and not to mention Self Obsessed Tony Stark. I think Tony Stark it the super hero every one wants to see. Who doesn't live behind curtains. Who doesn't have anything to hide. Who wants the world to know that 'He' is the reason why every one can feel safe. now THATs what i call a super hero. Superman, Batman and the other lot. Take a hike, coz Iron Man is back with his 'F**k Off' attitude. The best part about the movie is that you want Downey to be in his real Tony Stark mode more than the Iron Man Avatar.

The movie is an absolute cracker with loads of style, attitude and amazing soundtrack. No matter how many times you have heard Highway to Hell, it still does something to you in the end credits. This is not your run off the mill super hero movie where the larger than life villain is trying to end the world and the superhero is the only hope the world has. Here, the villain is as much flesh and blood as the Super Hero himself and THATs what makes it different coz no matter how unbelievable all that gadgetery might look it, it still feels believable coz of the 'human' (not in a senti way) touch that Downey gives it to the character. He is just not your regular 'good' man. He is just an eccentric billionaire who also likes to tackle the bad guys to (may be) boost his ego even further. Ironically, in the very first sequence Tony says, "Please, Its not about Me" and you know it IS only about him and still love it.

The movie is about a certain Ivan Vanko (Mickey Rourke) who wants to destroy Iron Man's superhero image publically. "If you could make God bleed, people will cease to believe in Him", he says. The reason is apparently coz his father had some problem with Tony's Father (or whatever). And what the heck, who cares about the plot in superhero movies anyways. The background Score is Amazing. Special Effects are kick ass. The Introduction of the other Characters played by the likes of Scarlett Johansson, Denzel Washington, Don Cheadle adds up to the franchisee. In terms of performance, (obviously) Robert Downey Jr steals the show from the very first shot. But Others were equally good too. Infact Sam Rockwell did a pretty neat job in his not so elaborate stark's rival hammer role.

Overall : A Kick Ass Super Hero Movie which is way more than the gadgets and the super powers. Watch it for Robert Downey Jr.

Feel-O-Meter: 9/10

Fly me to the Moon : Takes off and then goes down

3 Flies looking for an adventure and sneak into Apollo 11 when the first manned flight to the moon takes off. Looks Promising right?. The problem was that the 'adventure' was not adventurous enough. The 3 D graphics are superb to the say the least but lack of 'ohhh shit' scenes just completely washed that out. You just dont feel that 'edge of the seat' excitement and that screwed a perfect idea and the movie went down the drain (well almost)

The movie had a fantastic storyline. But thats all it had. You keep thinking that something would happen now and keep hoping that it happens but it doesn't. And since the director had no idea how to stretch this one sentence story further. He adds some russian flies who are planning to sabotage the US mission and some US flies who are trying to stop them from doing so, which could have worked only if they had some real sense of 'oh my god' moments or even some 'wise cracks'. But that was not the case.

The reason why people go and watch animation movies is that they take you away from the real world into a world of possibilities. Where things which cannot take place do take place. A world of impossible-ism and making it possible. The ideation part was good. The characters on paper were cute as well. But the execution (and i repeat 3d was crazily kick ass) was not too great.

The director just didn't know how to take it forward. I am sure the moon mission in itself would have been pretty adventurous with a lot of ups and down in reality. Rather than exagerating those moments, the movie just makes it a too-simple a hitch ride. The flies just get in, reach the moon, wave and come back. Absolutely no adventurous. No breath taking moments. No 'oh shit they are gonna get killed' scenes. Absolutely nothing.

The only positive thing that bound me was Absolutely Stunning 3D effects. If you have seen Avatar, Clash of the Titans in 3D. Do go and watch this and THEN you shall realize how pathetic they looked in 3D if you compare with Fly me to the moon. The flies are almost at your nose especially in the first 2-3 sequences and that sets the pace for the movie. Just lack of direction and screenplay couldnot keep up with the technology or else it could have been an amazing movie after Up.

Feel-O-Meter: 4/10

Overall : Take your kids if you have promised them to show some movie this weekend or if you want to experience some REAL 3 D

PS: Just noticed that movie was released in US in Aug 2008 and was the first animation 3D movie. The Effects seem even more impressive now.

Housefull : What else do you expect

Before the movie begins, Sajid Khan declares that the movie is a tribute to the cinema of prakash mehra, hrishikesh mukherjee and the like. It is the way he perceives cinema as.. Entertainment. Which is like a disclaimer of sorts that there is not going to be anything in the movie but you are going to leave the cinema hall entertained. Now how the 'entertainment' is going to come is a different question altogether. May be his definition of entertainment means slapstick, people hitting each other for no reason, women jumping from windows, confusion all over, queen elizabeth speaking marathi, Double meaning dialogues, The done to death (male) Kantaben sequence and yeah forgot to mention. If everything fails, try laughing gas.

This review is almost not required to even state which so obvious.All of you understand this BEFORE watching the movie and i am just writing exactly the same AFTER watching it. And yes, let me make it very clear that i am not criticizing the movie in anyway. Any movie i go to, i have an expectation in my mind as to what is the reason for me to watch this movie. That's the reason i enjoy DD-Govinda genre like nuts. Same is the case with housefull. (Obviously) you know what to expect from the movie even if the disclaimer/tribute was not even there. You know it is going to be a stupid movie which will not make any sense what so ever. And all the things mentioned earlier are expected to happen. The difference is if even the most lame jokes are still able to tickle your funny bone or not. In this case, Its somewhere in the middle. Some of the jokes, scenes are irritating as hell but some are damn funny too and you almost go ROFL.

The story i dont think is even remotely relevant so i am not going to waste a sentence on that. It starts in a very irritating fashion, then goes further with some funny sequences and ends in a pathetic fashion almost as if the director was like, 'oh shit, how do i end it now'. Oh yeah, why not try laughing gas. I am going to drive home a senti point but wait a minute, its a funny movie so all actors should laugh. Voila.. Laughing Gas!!!!

And yes, since its a commercial movie with (almost) A list actors. Lets throw in some exotic locations, foot tapping-club type music, a remixed item song. and i forgot, there are 3 damn hot actresses too, so throw in some bikini/lingerie, coming out of ocean, cleavage revealing shots and we have loads for the masses to ogle at. Not to mention that it lifts off a number of scenes from hollywood movies like night at the museum, meet the fockers, bollywood movies like kal ho na ho, and also some south indian movie which my friend told me about.

Actors (i am actually confused if i should even use that term though) do what they are supposed to. Akshay, Riteish try their best (btw, you already know that this is the best that they can do, so you dont complain). Girls make the guys go all wide eyed with their already described talent. Boman Irani for me is the one whom i liked the most and Arjun Rampal does his 'wooden' act to perfection as always.

Feel-O-Meter: 6/10 (You might think its a bit on the higher side, but theek hai yaar, chalta hai)

Overall: (Again, Obviously) Its one of those stupid movies you want to watch just to forget what is going on in your life. You watch it, Keep criticizing it all through that how dumb this movie is, but still enjoy it.

Clash of the Titans : No Oh My 'God' factor

Clash of the Titans is a Men Vs Gods Greek mythology War epic which has the usual larger than life scale, scary monsters, cool graphics, emotional turmoil of the lead character but still doesn't work because there is nothing new to offer, because everything in the movie has already been seen/done before. There is no 'oh my God' factor anywhere. Everything seemed to be inspired from earlier movies. Watch it only if you have nothing better to do and your idea of cinema is watching creepy and enormously large creatures screaming with their mouth full of saliva and throwing their tail(s) here and there and in turn killing hundreds of people. Nothing apart from that.

The movie is (supposed to be) an epic tale between Men and Gods. Wherein the Hades(The God from the underworld) gets angry with a King, since his queen compared their daughter to the god and said that the men don't need Gods but rather the Gods need men for their worship. Now, Perseus (Sam Worthington) who is half man-half god needs to go to some witches, kill some giant scorpions, slay medusa's head and yeah.. kill a may be a 200 mtr(or even higher) Godzilla + T Rex look alike called Kraken. Needless to say, He does all of it (almost) alone.

There is nothing to mention about the performances, since nobody really had to act anywhere during the movie apart from looking scared, stone faced, creepy and screaming your lungs out. I think this is where the movie did not do anything for me. I could not relate to the characters at all. I wish the movie was made with a better cast. I understand that the budget would (obviously) be polarized towards the special effects but i am sure they could have done with some better actors. What about Morgan Freeman as Zeus or Russel Crowe as Perseus?

As far as the Special Effects and CGI(or whatever) Graphics are concerned. They were pretty good, but everything seemed to have been lifted from other movies. The locations reminded too much of LOTR. The Scorpions and the Djinns reminded too much of The Mummy Series and the Scorpion King. Even the Monster Kraken looked like a cross breed between a T Rex and Godzilla. The sequence where the princess is being offered to the Kraken, reminded just too much of Peter Jackson's King Kong. All in all, everything was seen and heard of, so it just does not offer anything new for the audience. The last 10 minutes are pretty neat but i am sure you don't really follow 80-20 principle in movies ;)

Overall : The usual Larger than Life epic tale , which did not do justice to the scale it deserved. Above Average but no OMG factor. Watch it if you are looking for some really BIG monsters on screen and nothing else.

Feel-O-Meter : 4/10

PS: I hope you get the pun with God being in quotes ;)

PSS: You could find the review too harsh and the reason could be that i watched 4 action flicks (2012, GI Joe, Transformers 1 and 2) back to back before i went to see COTT.

Aice in wonderland : Down the rabbit hole

This i think could well be my shortest review ever. Not because it was a bad movie but may be because i was just too bored to notice anything good or bad about the movie. The movie just didn't do anything for me. Neither the uni dimensional story nor the over the top performances. Neither the script (or the lack of it) nor the (unimaginitive) special effects. It was just all too boring to say the least. Do NOT watch.

Performances were too loud. Johny Depp was trying another Jack Sparrow but fails miserably. The only saving grace was a couple of laughters here and there with Helena Bonham Carter's portrayal of the Red Queen(which i earlier thought was natalie portman).

The story was more like an extension to the original Alice in Wonderland where from the time she arrives in wonderland what is going to happen in the end. And exactly what wa told in the beggining takes place. So no surprise factor here too. Alice is supposed to slay a dragon to win back the crown from the red queen and pass it on to the white queen. Yes, thats all. And nothing adventurous really happens through out the movie.

Special Effects were also too not special. And frankly after Lord of the Rings and Avatar, a 'wonderland' would never really be as amusing as you might expect it to. It all just looks too simplistic.

Overall : Don't go unless you are a 5 year old. (well, honestly dont go even if you are, coz there are some super duper animation movies which could kick this one's ass left right and center

Feel-O-Meter: 2/10 (Honeslty, i think that also is slightly high but still Zero dena accha nahi lagega) ;)